Frame of Reference

I had a leg cramp last night and I dreamed that it was going to be amputated, my leg... not the cramp. I have procured myself a set of shiny new shoes. My feet love me again. Every time I get new shoes I tell myself that I am going to keep them clean, but it never works out. Maybe this time. Things are starting to slow down at work. The spring break rush seems to be over for now. I don't seem to be clicking very well with the new crew. It's not for lack of trying. I just don't think I'm ever going to make a good first impression on ANYBODY and it's time I accept that fact. Sometimes, I don't want to fall asleep. Sometimes, reality is....

My feet have been soaked and rubbed and I even got a special lotion. I like the whole -not wearing shoes- thing the best though. Too bad that would probably kill me at work. I don't like walking through the grey ocean with shoes ON! Ick. At least it's warmer today!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I am very glad that I do not have to work on this night. Spring break alone is bad enough for "partying". Add a day when it's almost a requirement and you will just be looking for foul tempers. The "charm" has officially worn off. I am tired, sore, and completely jaded with the public. A small silver lining is that I don't take it personally any more if they don't like something. At the beginning I used to get very upset when someone at one of my tables was upset. I quickly realized that I would NEVER make it that way. Some people can not be pleased. Some people just LIKE to complain. But there are those that don't and I love them! I am looking for new shoes and epsom salt. Any body else have handy advice on blisters and bruises on toes, send them my way! I simply CAN'T wait for next week! This is going to be good for all people affected, I just know it.

I survived the first weekend back to work. I've only suffered sore feet and tired shoulders. On Friday I was very worried that we weren't going to be busy. Two hours of prep work and two hours of sitting, watching the front door, amounted to tense servers. Tonight sure made up for it. I felt bad for the new people. Not bad enough to stay even later, though. After 9 hours of non-stop moving I was ready to disappear! Quote of the weekend. More like dialogue but, whatever: Customer: "You put salt on your strawberry daiquiris ? Me: "No, It should be sugar. Normally we don't do that but our shipment of whipped cream hasn't come in yet. Have you tasted it? Customer: "I'm not going to put my lips on this glass!!" Me: "Oh." ..... pause ..... "Okay, anything else I can get you?" (In my head: WHY are we having this conversation if you aren't even going to engage in tasting it???)

The time has come for me to return to the world of the working. I didn't miss it all that much. I missed getting paid, but not the working part. In all actuality though, I am glad to be going back. I need to feel productive and useful. I need to get things paid off. Going back to the restaurant feels like going back to school after summer break. You wonder who's gonna be there, who moved, who's new, how much did you really forget (which is surprisingly not that much at all when your fingers start moving across the computer screen). I love the drive next to the ocean, crossing the bridges. I will pick out my favorite bar stool and claim it as my own. I will vow not to eat so many quesadillas. I give it a week before the charm wears off and I am cursing people under my breath!! So here begins my summer. 26 days until my birthday! (For those who were wondering)

A simple stretch made uneasy with nerves at your back screaming Silently at the window frame, your fingers splayed Against a heart held bleeding bandaged, don't remember offering up this battered vessel in a covenant of beating words against frozen ribs that lack understanding of what's being asked through lips not moving and eyes unblinking A reflection of yourself through the glass unflinching with fingers splayed next to the door frame Reality is a breath against the aperture of decisions

Sometimes, it's just a spot of color amid the muck.