Frame of Reference

Yesterday, I saw a man drunkenly stagger out of a bar and hop onto a riding lawnmower. He was very elderly yet  maneuvered  that heavy machinery like it was a classic car. An elderly beagle also followed enthusiastically and had no trouble keeping pace. I thought to myself, well that's probably the most interesting thing I've witnessed in a while. The holidays were good. I had to work but made it work. The family came together just fine. Got a new job offer and I go in for testing on the 5th of January. I'm not sure how it's going to work with my school schedule but I have to make more money than I am making now. I've watched so many movies and have read so many books since school ended for the winter. I actually read a series by R.D. Brady that is phenomenal. She's definitely earned a top spot on my list of favorite authors. The Belial Series is the one I'm talking about. I believe there are 9 books and they were all very well written and very intriguing...

Feel it, feel it. Well, two employees were fired and one quit. We are down to 4 full-time employees and 3 part-time employees. 336 hours must be covered in 1 week. I'm not big on numbers at all, so the fact that I am using them to make a point illustrates just how dire I feel the situation is. Essentially, we are getting our asses handed to us by the company and we are all looking for greener pastures or at the very least, a vessel that does not seem to be sinking. (Cue Annie Lennox "Why") I feel myself missing and looking forward to school. It's crazy how quickly your brain realizes that it's not being stimulated. I imagine it's a situation similar to working out regularly. You start craving exercise. I don't work out so I wouldn't know, but I should. I'm also sure that as soon as school starts with the 18 hours that I'm taking, I will look at myself in the mirror and ask, "What the fuck were you thinking?" The emotional aspect co...

I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I might not have made good decisions or made the choices that were best for me. A lot.... and I mean... A LOT was said about me during this trip. Not only from my family but from the people who knew me way back when. Messing with my head. Making me cry. Making me hate the situation that I'm in. Storming. Fitting.

Took a quick trip up to the Volunteer State. Just a few days, a little break. Observations and happenings: I do NOT like Chattanooga. At All. I think humans in traffic are amusing. Say you're stuck in traffic, stop and go and it takes 20 minutes to go 2 miles. There are 3 outcomes to this: #1 - The traffic magically disappears and you are on your way. This pisses you off. You are LITERALLY looking around for a reason for being stopped in the first place. You are basically enraged at the invisible 'cause' of your delay and more so because you can not SEE the cause. #2 - A minor fender bender. This causes an even larger rage at the drivers around you: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? THIS IS WHAT WE ARE SLOWING DOWN FOR? Rubbernecking rednecks." #3 - A serious accident. "Oh Hank, would you look at that!! Oh my lord, I hope everyone is okay. Oh, I'm gonna pray for them." No rage. You have been successfully justified for being stuck in traffic. Hilarious. I got...

Throwing myself into my studies, final grade in cartography - 93%!! I'm not bragging but that was a tough class that really tried my patience. My final in GIS kicked my ass. We shall see what the T.A. thinks of it, hopefully soon. Throwing myself into music to stop the voices and self doubt in my head. Especially this:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_1-oylPHjs Work is still 'hard'. Although I feel silly complaining so much. At least I have a job. I have learned to not forgo my integrity just for a paycheck though. I see it coming to that and I'm hoping it changes course quickly.

I'm obviously being tested, literally and metaphorically. I have two finals to take next week, one for sure... the other one is up in there and dependent on how I did on the last test. I don't feel that confident but cautiously optimistic. That seems to be my mantra these days. Cautiously optimistic. I think once I finish this project tomorrow, I will be able to breathe a little bit easier. The other tests are multivariate. They hired a new guy. He's older and set in his ways and obviously has led a hard life. I'm pretty sure his picture is beside the definition of 'crotchety old man'. What I can NOT tolerate is the racial slurs and gender bashing. I also don't want to be the person that can't get along with people, in fact, I pride myself on being very tolerant. I just won't tolerate such hate-filled rhetoric. Suffice it to say that I have exceeded the 10,000 steps I strive for daily. I take A LOT of walks while working with this man. Also looks ...