Frame of Reference

Posts

Sunday

- November 21, 2021

I wish there was a counter for how many times you started an unsent text, similar to screen time notices. Wild. Disjointed. Dissimilar ideas 💡.

I think that sometimes we all get tired of driving. I feel like the transition is undetectable though. You don’t realize that anything has changed until you decide that you get tired of looking out of the window at the passing scenery. It dawns on you then that you haven’t been driving for a while. I always forget that, even though it happens often. Autopilot switches on with no one the wiser, especially you. The switch back isn’t always as seamless. It hurts sometimes, no matter how much stretching you do. How much you mentally prepare, or how the seat fits your butt just so. It’s like you’re just tired of being in the car. I think this time I’m going to walk for a bit. No more ‘arriving’ without remembering how you got there in the first place. It’s scary to think about. Lonely when it’s just your feet. Everything is changing so fast.

Untitled

- August 23, 2020

What a bizarre few months this has been. I can't even really organize my thoughts about it all. Not in a coherent way, anyway. Two hurricanes are making landfall within a couple of days of one another. Routines are starting again tomorrow. I'm hoping they call me to schedule my surgery. Serious news these days have become the norm. Met with a deep breath and an "okay", instead of dread and dramatics. My reading has slowed down this year. I was hoping to hit 35 but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. I did find entertainment in streaming. Travelers Schitt's Creek Killing Eve Star Wars Killing Eve has, by far, been my favorite. It's kind of made me want to take a screen writing class. I mean, I'm very old for that, but who cares?

Ramblin' Man

- March 04, 2020

So... over the years I've heard it many times, many different ways. You need to be alone, be by yourself. You are so focused on other people that you don't even know what you want. So... over the years I've heard it many times, many different ways. You are so focused on yourself, you are so narcissistic, you can't even begin to imagine what a partner might need, might want. I think I've done both. Equally. Without a second thought to the other. I have been so self-centered, so self-involved. Shit, re-read my entires. Me, me, me, me-me. Then there are some where I try so hard to become what someone else needs. Musically, physically, etc. Like, liking my eggs the way my special someone does.... a la "Runaway Bride". And then... my sister died. And then... I have two boys... and then, nothing is about me, except maybe, in a peripheral way. My jokes, my stories, my humor, my excitement. It's all boy. All the time. Is it okay? Am I okay with that? I ...