Frame of Reference

Stomach issues = guilt free pass to relax. Sore neck ensures it's not all fun and games. Possible calling into work? Doubtful. We were actually on a wait last night. After a week of horrible sales, 1 table an hour, we get slammed out of nowhere. People's last ditch vacation efforts to enjoy clean beaches before school? I need to lay off of the inner temper tantrums.

I was following a yellow sports car to work today. Their license plate read YLWBRD. That is my kind of plate!! ME: Oooohhh, look!! A Redbird!!! Not ME: Or, as normal people call them, a cardinal. ME: Right, whatever. Same thing! Thanks to C.S.I., every time I pass a car wash after dark and notice someone vacuuming their car, I think they are getting rid of evidence.

Always saying good bye. One of my favorites from the park. I want to take more. I want to photograph more people! An angry man gestured rudely to me tonight. By rudely, I mean he snapped his fingers. With a mouth full of food he proceeded to say. "Honey, I hope this aint gonna hurt your feelings none, but this is one sorry piece of meat." I look at his plate and there is only one bite left of a 10oz sirloin. "I'm sorry sir, would you like to order something else perhaps?" He replies by stabbing the last piece and shoving it into his mouth. While chewing he said, "Well no, I done finished it." I swallow, "Right. Well, ummm, okay. Thanks for letting me know." He left me 86 cents. Check out the girl from Alice in Wonderland. I like her hair!

After I put my phone down this morning I buried my head under a pillow. I turned my music on really loudly and tried to drown everything out. Bailey didn't approve and jumped off of my bed. I wonder what she would say if she could talk. Probably, "Put your headphones on already!". I'm beginning to think that you don't realize what you are doing. It's better than thinking that you just don't care.

On my daily run through of CNN headlines, one in particular caught my eye. "Craig to be cast in Dragon Tattoo." My mind immediately screamed, but that movie has already been made. I've seen it! Maybe there are talking about a new movie called Dragon Tattoo. I clicked on it. Nope, they are doing an American adaptation of the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Originally, I thought that was a bad idea. The author is swedish, the books are swedish, and the movie is made and spoken in it's native language. But we are society that revels in adaptation. I don't think that many people braved the subtitled movie. So, if it takes a remake in English to get it out there to the masses, it can't be that bad. I do hope that the original actress will at least make a cameo. I think she is perfect for Lisbeth's character. I read they are throwing around the likes of Ellen Page and Kristen Stewart. They can play disaffected but their faces give away too much emotion. Lisbeth is ...

Despite the heat, it was a cool day. Woke up late, snuggled with Bailey, had an AMAZING photo shoot at the park. Got my burger stolen by the cutest guy around and felt my muscles burn when I mowed the yard. Sweatily satisfying. I am so incredibly grateful. Work has been torture. This being mid-July, it's a joke. Also very grateful for compensation. So excited about the concert coming up! New video is pretty cool. Reminds me of their Tiesto video with the laser lights. http://www.teen.com/music I've loved this artist for a while now. Her new music video is pretty awesome in it's simplicity. The main reason I want to post it here is so you can see her hair. I think I could pull that off!! Insert sarcastic-ness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SfZ5dGe8g4 I can't wait for the pictures to be seen. When I got the phone call yesterday, I didn't hesitate to answer. It made me think of days gone, just three. I never thought I would hear so much coldness. Uncompromising. Un...

I wrote and deleted three entries.

The storm known as "Bonnie" has been downgraded to nothing. We got a few sprinkles I think. I was sorely disappointed. I needed my windshield cleaned. Driving home tonight, I was lucky enough to witness the beauty of the leftover wind. The clouds were like proud sails on a boat, highlighted and backlighted by an almost full moon. They were gliding through the night sky like magic. The palm trees were swaying and the wind smelled clean. It was gorgeous, a night to behold. I read the book "Charlie St. Cloud." From the previews I thought it was surely a cheesefest but I was desperate. All I can say is that it's mushy a la James Patterson, but with enough of a twist to be entertaining. I was pleasantly surprised. We saw Salt today. Again, entertaining. Isn't Mrs. Jolie always, though? It was basically a 90 minute chase sequence but money well spent for a saturday with my mom.

I wanted to end this. I become overwhelmed with the desire to destroy everything that I have ever created. I remember being a teenager in high school. I would fight with my mother all of the time, over the stupidest things. Why I didn't make my bed or sweep the floors. During one particular argument I remember taking every single poster and picture off of my walls. There was nothing but blank, white, walls. I sat on my bed feeling triumphant. My arms were crossed and I had a smirk on my face just waiting for her to walk in. She did finally. She walked in and looked around, she looked at me, and then back at the walls. "Needed a change?" she asked, nonchalantly. Not exactly the response I was looking for. But then, I have no idea what response I -was- looking for. I am sure I just shrugged my shoulders in that infuriating way that teenagers do. I think it boils down to a lack of control. If I feel out of control I will find something that I can control. My environment, my ...

And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film, And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got." ~Everclear What better way to end it? I suppose if the lyrics were mixed up. Always close but always a bit off. Two stones. Now there is no more reason. So very me. The End.

I love the way that your heart breaks with every injustice and deadly fate Here you are down on your knees again trying to find air to breathe again I love that you’re never satisfied with face value wisdom and happy lies you take what they say and go back and cry ~ Flyleaf - Again No human contact And if you interact Your life is on contract Feelin' like a freight train First one to complain Leaves with a blood stain Damn right I'm a maniac You better watch your back Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program And if your stuck up You just lucked up Next in line to get fucked up I hope you know I pack a chain saw I'll skin your ass raw ~ Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff Google search - souls - Adrienne - spirituality TILTED STARE I wish that i could. That I could have said good bye to her. My grandmother has been on my mind a lot lately. That I could have said Hello on my terms That I could have woken up sooner That I would have said it sooner But I am glad that I did Say It

I can't even ....

Close your eyes and forget it all It'll be best in the end

I watched the sunset bleed into the horizon, casting rays of light that reflected clouds like something only seen in dreams. The sunset morphed into one I've seen a thousand times in my head. An image that I will never give away. I wrestle with this place. This format I have. It isn't fair. But maybe the concept of fair only exists in the mind of a child. But this place? It isn't. The storms came after the sun disappeared. Fitting. I didn't ignore it. I settled it. Is that what responsibility is? I didn't want to leave her wondering. He said I lost my chance. I smiled. Their laughter echoed amongst the trees that lined the river. My fingers wrinkled and I stared in amazement at the colors that change so vividly from one breath to the next.

I look at the debris of all that I have torn down. Of what I have allowed to exist. Of what I have done. Of what I have never said and what I have said when it got dark. I run my fingers over the moments that have taken my breath away. I glance at the fear that lives inside of me.

Bad Night. horrible , terrible, crummy , pathetic , rotten , woeful , lousy , appalling , abysmal A measure? Getting a $3.00 tip on a $200.00 check..... wasn't the worst thing that happened.

I've been busy on my drawing. It's a very slow process though, I'm not sure I'm feeling it. So, I sit and stare for copious amounts of time trying to visualize the finished project/different directions I could take it. I'm also reading.... a lot. I read case studies on abnormal psychology. Autism holds my attention more than any other. I find the correlation between prodigies and theories of past lives extremely engaging. I've also read : Heat Stroke Chill Factor Windfall Firestorm Thin Air Gale Force I am currently half way through Cape Storm. Just in time for Total Eclipse next month. All of the books are written by Rachel Caine. Wanna see what the books look like? Click here . Is it just me, or does the cover of Thin Air look EXACTLY like Evangeline Lilly? Great story line, though Thin Air was my least favorite. Amnesia is not a great plot line in my opinion. Just reiterates everything that has already happened. It doesn't work for TV...

I have no rules of conduct Illicit a response Carve it out Scarred knees and burnt offerings Don't believe in impossibilities Force fed choices and decisions They were never mine Met with certainty, I envy Forgive me I have no rules of conduct

I worked on the fourth of July last year, and this year. Remember the glow worms? The stain on the concrete, makes me smile. I can handle sparklers, anything else makes me filled with anxiety. I can't blame it on the fire either. My fear of fireworks started as a child, for no solid reason that I can remember. Maybe it was watching all of those horrible home movies they would show on t.v. about fireworks going awry. Maybe it's just me, my fear. Maybe my imagination is just too active, like imagining carnival rides coming apart mid-ride and killing everyone. Tornado's being sentient. When you cease to exist to someone, does a part of you cease to exist? Questions whisper in darkness. Is everything gone again? With one click. "Do you want to delete ALL of the selected items?" Yes No

"In case I go there every day" A sneak peek? Because you just never know, right? Score: Weed Eater 01 - Me 00

07/01: Walked Bay, fought with hair, sent home, car broke, stranded, made an ass of myself, cried, tore it apart, pulled it together, found cat vomit on my bed. 07/02: Said goodbye, walked Bay, fixed car, stared angrily at hair, worked, played soccer with an orange (just a piece, not the whole thing... that would be too easy), had mini food fight with lettuce and expo boys, won contest for stacked butters, was the shoulder for tears, watched lightening, held a pencil for a prolonged period of time.

I ripped it apart, everything. It's what I'm good at, right? Nothing like reading... Nothing like feeling... There is a moment right between when what you think is true becomes what you know is true. It's like your breath catches and you squeeze your eyes tight and try to hold onto hope. But its all in vain. When someone you hold in such regard deems you someone less than a stranger. Less then someone who deserves...