Frame of Reference

I know that not everyone celebrates Christmas, but does it really matter? It's the holiday season and I love the feeling. Everyone sort of comes together this time of year. Even if it is coming together to AGGRESSIVELY shop at the mall and places like wal-mart. Hey, at least everyone is grumpy and stressed -together-. I'm having a great holiday though. I am so excited about tomorrow, I cannot wait!!! My mom is making a breakfast casserole and for dinner we are having salmon. Not the traditional fare, but it works for us. I like it anyway. Does anyone else have trouble focusing on blue/purple Christmas lights? For some reason they make my eyes feel wonky and they are all blurry. *shrugs* Probably just me. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! Be safe, have fun, celebrate, keep the fighting to a minimum and I hope everyone sleeps really well.

We've all seen them standing in front of the department stores. The incessant ringing and the sometimes shady characters. It's a staple of christmas though. You know the day is getting closer the moment you hear the bells. Have you ever watched the people's reaction to the bell ringers though? You should try it sometime, highly amusing. Especially if you have just dropped someone off and are circling the parking lot or calmly waiting outside for them to come back. This provides a GREAT opportunity for people watching. Anyway, you get the people who: Smile and nod Say "I'll catch ya on the way out!" Wave Completely avoid ALL eye contact Pretend to be completely distracted by something in the store or someone you are -supposedly- looking for Start wildly ruffling through your purse to give your child (who is hopping up and down) a dollar or at least some loose change so they can excidetly and proudly drop it in the bucket Say "Merry Christmas" Actually...

My aunt threw a book on my desk this weekend called Glass Houses by Rachel Caine . It's a young adult book so it only took me a day in half to read it. It was pretty entertaining. It ended with a cliffhanger though. *grumbles* Vampires are always fun though. Good weekend read. As soon as I finished that I picked up Life of Pi . I've been seeing it everywhere and I hear it's really good. It's started out VERY good. From the back it's about a young boy who gets stranded on a life boat with a Bengal Tiger and must overcome some pretty huge odds. But he survives. I think it might be based on a true story too. I could be wrong though. I will look into that to make sure. On Saturday morning, it was like any other morning. I woke up and was stretching in bed. All of the sudden I hear a 'wet' pop in my neck and I suddenly can't move it!! Now it happens on occasion that I will turn my neck wrong and get a sudden sharp burning/pain sensation..but it goes away f...

So, I just finished reading Dark Heart by Tina Daniell. It's part of the Dragon Lance saga. I was told it was very good and that I would like the main character Kitiara Uth Matar. I did in fact like it very much! There was a minor character (well, relatively) named Colo that I REALLY liked though. She was spunky, courageous, smart....and she gets killed. It figures! But overall, good book! Work has been crazy this past week. The flu season has officially begun it seems and this year it's pretty bad. For some reason we are seeing flu coupled with strep throat. Nasty stuff if you ask me. I'm glad I got my flu shot! *knocks on wood* We had one poor kid that had the flu, strep, croup, scarlet fever, AND an ear infection!! So everyone, drink LOTS of fluids, wash your hands as much as possible and if you are sick, STAY HOME! Don't infect everyone else. *lol* It looks like it's going to be a bad winter for sickness.

Another dumb conversation I had today. Part of my job is to call insurance companies to check eligibility and doctor assignments. I had to change a doctor on a policy, check it out: Operator : How may I help you? Me : I need to change the doctor on a patients plan, please. blah blah, I give her all the information. LOOONG silence. Me : We called in June to change this, but it looks like it was never done. Operator : Silence Me : Hello?! Operator : Yeah!? Me : Is there a problem? This is where she starts giving me eligibility (Something I didn't ask for) Me : I just need to change the doctor, please. Operator : It looks like it was never done. Me : (Trying really hard not to lose my patience) I KNOW! That's why I'm calling. That's what I am TRYING to do here! Operator : Oh, I see, okay. I can't do that from this terminal, let me transfer you. Me : (Bangs head on the desk) But on a lighter note it's snowing!!!! Yipee! I love the snow. If only it would stick to the...

Saturday morning started with a major cleaning of the office. I went into work and was pleasantly surprised that J was coming in to work with me. I might have mentioned it before, but we really work well together. It's like we have this unspoken understanding of how one another works and we just sync. I met the aunt for lunch and then we were off to Gatlinburg to celebrate mom's b-day. Oh my gosh! We had so much fun. First of all we had to brave the aunt's driving and TRAFFIC! Of course we wouldn't have been stuck in traffic if SOMEONE would have been a better navigator. After we found a parking space we went to this restaurant ( I can't remember the name ) but they make VERY good appetizers and drinks. Then we walked to the CELTIC shop and the restrooms followed quickly by the EARTHBOUND store. It's one of the COOLEST stores. Very zen! They have fountains, jewelry, statues, rocks. It's all natural stuff. Then we walked back to the car which seemed a whole...

I can't believe it's already here. I'm so excited! I -LOVE- the holidays. To commemorate this event (the beginning of December), here is a song. I LOVE the movie Anastasia. I love the soundtrack even more! This song pops up during the movie a couple of times and for some reason it always reminds me of my grandma. Her little nik-naks she had on the shelves. I remember I would get them down and play with them as a child and she would just let me, telling my mom not worry about it. "She's fine, leave her alone." She would say. And sometimes if we were alone she'd turn on the stereo while she would clean and sing a long with the music. "Once Upon a December" Dancing bears, Painted wings, Things I almost remember, And a song someone sings Once upon a December. Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory... Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm. Figures...

So I killed my ankle on Friday night. Over the weekend I tried to wear shoes as little as possible. Unfortunately at work shoes are a required item. My normal tennis shoes just weren't cutting it. The back was rubbing and I was constantly walking and in motion (because we have been insanely busy). So, I asked a friend of mine if I could borrow her crocs. First of all I think these shoes are the uglies shoes ever, but I keep hearing how comfortable they are. It honestly feels like you aren't even wearing shoes when you have them on. They were fine for a day, but after that my feet started killing me. I guess I need more support with my arches and stuff. So I put like three band-aids on my heel and braved my normal shoes. It hurts, but I think it's getting better. Besides, a stubborn part of me will wear my New Balances NO MATTER WHAT! On a totally different note, I've come to realize that I can not hear music in my head. I don't know how I never noticed before, but I...

Last night I tried a new kind of sushi, spider rolls. It's basically seaweed wrapped around the rice and then filled with shrimp tempura and the other stuff sushi is normally filled with. It was pretty good but I wasn't too keen on the crunchy shrimp. The texture was just really odd and the seaweed made the whole thing kind of chewy. I like it when the seaweed is -inside-. Caterpillar rolls are still my favorite! Last night I cut the back of my heel off. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but SHEESH that's what it felt like!! My aunt has this dog door, but it's an older kind with metal trim that sort of sticks out. I shut the door on my heel as I was lifting it up to take a step back. It oooozed blood for a long time. I had to change the band-aid three times. I got to work this morning and realized I hadn't had a tetanus shot since '96. *wrinkles nose* I get 3 shots every other week for my allergies...BUT the needles aren't long enough to go into my muscle. I...

I hope that everyone had a great holiday! I certainly did. I woke up fairly early and made a chocolate pie, deviled eggs, and a relish tray. Then, it was off to check on a cat I'm watching for my boss. After that I went to my mom's house to help with the cooking. The food was AMAZING! My only complaint is that people who didn't help AT ALL had little nit-picks about the food. I say if you didn't help you aren't allowed to complain. You should be grateful and just enjoy it. Said people also didn't help with the clean-up *glowers* But fun was had and good food was eaten. Good food will STILL be eaten today. Yum! Leftovers! We had our first snow on Monday. Big flakes! Of course, none of it stuck...but the mountains are still white. I thought that winter was going to come early this year. It's been so cold! There has been ice on my car every morning for weeks now. I love it though. It's so festive. Speaking of festive...C hristmas music is being played no...

Uggghhh, the weather in the past two days have been AWFUL! Right now it's pouring rain and the wind is crazy. Not to mention it's so dark! I know I've said it before, but it just makes me SO sleepy! And let me tell you how much fun it is to walk a huge golden retriever in this kind of weather. I've finally gotten rid of the headache that had been hanging around for the longest time. I think it was all tension because the back of my neck hurt. Things have been a little tense at work too and I have A LOT to do craft wise before the holidays get here. But I love it! I can't wait to give gifts and GET gifts. I've also lost a total of 12lbs in the past 3-4 weeks. Lately I've felt like I've gained it because I haven't been going to the gym. I -have- been watching my diet though so I suppose THAT really helps. So, YAY me! *lol* I don't usually like romantic movies. However, I keep seeing previews for the movie The Fountain and WOW! I can't wait to s...

Trouble in Kitty Paradise. I was in bed last night when I heard my aunt SCREECHING on the other side of the house. I thought Oh Heck, she’s yelling at Wren. I’d better get up and go see what the trouble is all about. I’m also thinking to myself that she has NO consideration for people who MIGHT JUST BE SLEEPING ! Anyway, my detective work ( which consisted of getting dressed and walking into the kitchen ) led me to discover that a STRANGE cat was trying to sneak in through the dog door. Kind of gives a new meaning to ‘cat burglar’ huh? Sorry, I know…I couldn’t help it. My aunt decided to throw a cup of water at it. c.C Well, it made her feel better anyway. *shrugs* Although I’m sure the cat was PLENTY scared by the yelling and screaming. Poor Kitty. I was walking from my car to the front door when I sneezed. People who know me, know that I can have a pretty loud sneeze. I believe in just letting it out. It’s not good for you to hold sneezes in. Well, I had just sneezed and some dise...

Creeeepy! Yesterday morning I was putting my tennis shoes on. I, therefore, had socks on. I put my foot into the left shoe and felt something near my toes. This isn’t unusual. My cat has a tendency to get little bits of paper or will steal a Q-tip and I often find them in my shoe. I wiggled my toes thinking it was that or maybe a rock. I take my shoe back off and turn it upside down, shaking it….EXPECTING something harmless to fall out. But instead I get this: Yeah! I then tried to get my cat to attack and kill it while a squirmed and wiggled in utter disgust. I had touched it with my sock-covered toe! I kept saying to myself, “You had socks on. You would have felt it bite…right? It would have hurt. I don’t think it bit me. It didn’t bite me…..are my toes going numb?” I had to laugh at myself at this point. The test went well yesterday. The most painful thing was being rubbed with sandpaper. Yeah, it sounds about as pleasant as it feels. I still have red marks from where my skin is so ...

"Bring on the Rain" is playing on the radio at work right now. I can't remember who sings it and I'm just too lazy to google it. I know she has red hair. Anyway, it's a fitting song. It has rained for the past 2.5 days. I know I Shouldn't complain though. The northwest and northeast is having TOO much rain. It seems like it's raining everywhere. The dark skies and low hanging clouds just REALLY makes one sleepy! I want to crawl under the covers and read. I was reading CNN's website this morning. I just like to take a peek at the headlines and try to stay 'in-the-know' with the happenings of the world. I had a good laugh. We have Democrats take the house - Senate pending - 35 killed in suicide bomber attack in Pakistan - Football star murdered in Florida - Sadaam gets death sentence - BRITNEY SPEARS DIVORCE'S. I just had to laugh. Amid all of the NATIONAL headlines she's right up there. Divorce is never a good thing, but I hope that good...

It seems like I always wait too many days to write in this. I always end up 'outlining'. *shrugs* Who cares? It's MY blog anyway right? Also I would like it noted that I am NO WHERE NEAR as talented (WORDY) as my partner in crime. Please don’t think the lack of detail was due to a lack of boredom or thinking it non-important. I LOVED the visit. THURSDAY: I woke up at the usual time and went into work. I only planned on staying for 3 hours however because I needed to leave Oak Ridge by 10 in order to show up in Pensacola by 5. The drive was uneventful. It ended up raining a little bit, which I absolutely HATE! Doesn't help that my windshield wipers aren't working that great. *wrinkles nose* I made it just in time for the 'ghost' seminar thingie. It was very cool! Kudos to H for making it all happen. Totally could have done without the "obnoxious, know-it-all, Mr. I have MANY questions" guy. Then sleep was had. FRIDAY: Early wake-up call. Much MUCH d...

Time to play catch up. On thursday night we went to a wine tasting class. That was an experience I will not soon forget. The instructor was VERY knowledgeable as were the people who sat at the table with us. Honestly, the 'art' or wine collecting and tasting is a little bit too technical for me. I don't really care much about vintage and winery and grape. But I REALLY liked the 'tasting' part. We started off with a sparklin chardonay. VERY nice. I like anything sparkling though. Then we moved to white wines. Now, here we were instructed to swirl and smell the wine. We were told there should be a faint "grass" smell along with Lemons and other acidic fruits. Okay, lemon..yum..GRASS?? Ewww. Moving on to the reds. Now here I have a problem. This stuff looks SO pretty and tasy, much like grape juice! *shakes head* Such lies. Red wines are AWFUL! Here I'm told we should smell "barnyard and smoke" *wrinkles nose* Putting these thoughts into my head...

Success was had, well…sort of, yesterday! My day went really well. I’ve had this headache since Monday that just won’t seem to go away and it got worse yesterday afternoon. I decided to just chill and hang around hoping it would just go away. A mini freak out was had. That’s always embarrassing when it’s over. But when you’re in the moment, I don’t know…your perspective is just so different. I finished Cast in Shadow by Michelle Sagara yesterday. The first thing I noticed about this book is how thick it is coming in at a mere 507 pages. It was a little technical at some points when different races and politics were being explained and I still can’t ‘quite’ picture what a Leontine looks like. BUT, with that being said I really enjoyed the book! The main character is Kaylin Neya. I loved her attitude and smart ass responses to authority. She really says whatever she’s thinking at the moment and finds it incredibly difficult to hold her tongue. Trouble ALWAYS manages to find her too. All ...

It's still raining and cold today coming in at a mere 53 degrees. I put my electric blanket on my bed last night. I was in heaven! Except that time that Shayde jumped on my bed and started rubbing all over me and he was soaking wet. He made an interesting noise when his body hit the wall on the other side of my room. LOL (I'm totally kidding, I would never do that!) So I woke up this morning full of determination to have a good day no matter what!! I feel well rested and in good spirits. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that this feeling lasts. Here's to everyone else making today a GREAT day too!!

Every time The rain comes down, Close my eyes and listen. I can hear the lonesome sound Of the sky as it cries. Listen to the rain Here it comes again Hear it in the rain Feel the touch Of tears that fall ...They won't fall forever In the way the day will flow All things come, All things go. ~Enya - It's In the Rain How many bad days does it take for enough to be enough? I reached my limit this morning. Everyone at my job seemed to be in a bad mood and just because I wasn't, they chose to try and bring me down. It's malicious and I don't understand why. Misery doesn't love company, it loves itself. The only thing misery will bring is lonliness because no one will be able to or WANT to be around you. I worked this sunday so I had extra time saved up. At lunch I was ready to throw the towel in. I walked outside and it was raining and I was sort of caught up in a moment. I stood there and let the drops hit my face and I kept thinking that the grey skies and low clo...

WARNING:::::RANT::::WARNING:::RANT Most awful. The day started out so well too! Well, not magnificent or anything, but I had high hopes. My keys were where I had left them, I was out of the door on time, traffic wasn’t bad at all and there was a pleasant crispness to the air. I was in good spirits. Then work just pooped on me. Within the first hour my boss and my co-worker called in. I sigh but it really doesn’t bother me. At 9 another co-worker (who’s SUPPOSED to be there at 8:30) calls and says her kids are sick and she’s bringing them with her. Oh Great!! I think. Our office is small enough; let’s just add two small kids running around. And that’s EXACTLY what happens. I turn around and am constantly tripping, I can’t get to the charts, I have marker on my arms. BUT…I count to ten…granted MANY MANY times, but still. I keep my cool. They finally go see the doctor and at 11:15….more than an hour later they come back. They both have strep. *BLINKS* the two kids that were just all up i...

Not much to report. We had a pretty crazy storm last night. I was driving home after having dinner with the family and the sky was so green with these black low-hanging clouds. Sure enough, as soon as I pulled into the driveway it started raining and the wind was bending the trees almost in half. I thought it might storm all day because it was so warm. I'm just glad I made it home in time. The animals were freaking out though. Nothing like having two cats and a lap dog all shaking and whimpering every time it thundered. Okay, only the dog was whimpering, but still. It really cooled things down though. It's only going to be in the low 60's today. I'm loving it! In my boredom yesterday I was checking out movie trailers online. Two of them really made an impression. First off we got "Jesus Camp". *blinks* WOW. It reminds me of watching a documentary of a training camp in Africa where they kidnap young children and train them to be soldiers. This is equally distur...

I had a pretty great weekend, if you don’t count the wakeup call from my boss asking me if I was going to come into work or not. Woops! I also finished another book. It was so incredibly good. I’m going to have to add it to H’s list. The main character definitely makes my list of all time favorite females!! The book is so well written too. Everything just flows and it was a pleasure to read. It’s called Moon Called by Patricia Briggs. Mercedes (Mercy) is the main character. She’s a mechanic by day. She also happens to have the ability to turn into a coyote at will and lives next door to the local alpha of a werewolf pack, who also happens to have a crush on her. I would recommend this book to anyone. I can be hard to please sometimes when it comes to books and movies. It takes something special to really impress me, and I was impressed with this book. It’s definitely going into my library!

So the Balloon festival got rained out, which totally sucks because I was really looking forward to it. We did head down there around 7:30 on Friday and I got two semi-crappy pictures. It was dark and rainy so they turned out pretty blurry. The first on is of a hot air balloon I snapped just as they were deflating it. It was neat to see. They go down FAST!! Within a minute it was down on the ground and this group of people was rolling it up. The second one I thought was TOTAL crap when I saw it on my camera however; when I got it on screen I decided it had a really eerie feeling to it. I liked it. I think it would be VERY cool if I could take the shadows out. It was really a fluke that I just captured the two girls because there were like 50 kids running around in the light on that hill. Just don’t look too long at either one, might make you nauseated.

The constant lightening above the mountains provided a nice distraction from my otherwise preoccupied thoughts. The invisible clouds become outlined in pink for seconds at a time and I wonder what it would be like up there with them. The rains only stopped for 30 minutes at a time today. It was if the storms only needed to catch their breath before they were off again. The darkness and low clouds made everyone sleepy and hesitant to go anywhere. I rather liked it for a change. The rain can stop though. It’s flooding in places. I think we’ve had enough. This also means that the hot air balloon festival was a complete wash out. Hopefully they will reschedule it for another weekend. I’ve also read two books in the past couple of weeks. It took me forever to finish In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. I was curious to see how it ended though because I was completely unfamiliar with the murder case that it followed. I basically wanted to know if the murderer’s were ever caught and punished for w...

Well, it's 10 minutes until I get to leave for lunch so I'm taking advantage of this time to update my journal. I'd like it known that I really hate it when something bad happens on a pretty day. The sunshine and the beautiful colors instantly become frigid and pale. I hate that feeling. I think all bad news should come when it's raining and overcast. That's what I say. Well this weekend looks like it's going to be fun. We're going to a balloon festival. I'm really excited to see the "river glow" and ESPECIALLY the traditional Cherokee dancing on saturday. I plan to take lots of pictures!! I've sort of been slacking in that department. When I do, I will definitely post them. I also have a craft fair coming up. I'm making necklaces, bracelets, and ankle bracelets. Hopefully, if I have enough time, I might draw some sketches. I have a few ideas that would be really quick. I'm also going to matte some photos of mine and have them for s...

Just my sorta luck! I see that gas prices have dropped to $2.39. They stay that way for a while, but I try to wait it out. I wait until the –you need gas- light comes on. I wanted to see if the price would drop any more, but sadly, I was out of time. So I fill up my tank. 2 hours later it drops 4 cents. I realize it is only 4 cents; it is just the point of the matter!! At red lights, I tend to get bored. I mean, you can’t read, you can’t really do anything but sit there and wait. Yesterday, I was behind a car. There was a good distance between us. (Ever since I got rear ended I tend to stay back a little ways). Then, there was a truck behind me. The car in front of me was the kind that inched up every few seconds. Normally this just gets on my nerves. It’s not as if by doing this you are going to make the light change faster. But on this day, I was bored, like I said, so I decided to play. I inched forward too. Then the car behind me inched forward. I did it again and the truck moves a...

Welcome to the first day of the season where I can see my breath outside!! It’s very exciting indeed. Now, usually, I know that I am a very warm-weathered type of person. But something about waking up in the morning and it being really cold and being able to see my breath just brings a smile to my face. I guess it also helps that I know it is going to warm up by the afternoon. I just love this time of year!! The only thing I could do without is the surge in sick people, including myself. Makes for a busy time of year.

It's raining this morning and I think that is very fitting. I like the rain, especially when I am nervous or -thinky-. If it was incredibly hot and sunny, than I would feel even more stifled. I think the overcast skies and constant rain have a definite calming effect. Even if it doesn't and that is all in my head, I am thankful for it anyway. Weird dreams were had last night. I was on the phone and my friend's brother was in the next room. I heard a weird click on the phone and a weird flashing came from the other room. I was talking to my friend and she said that electricity was arcing in his room and that I should help him. She said that everyone is always scared to do this because it just -looks- scary, but she didn't think that I would be. I wasn't. I was more curious than anything. I got up off of the bed that I was sitting on and walked to the room. Sure enough, bright blue arcs of electricty were coming off the door. Sort of like in those glass balls where yo...

Yesterday was a pretty great day at work. For a Monday we were pretty slow. Not slow enough to where we had to look for things to do, but slow enough to where we weren’t over worked. We got a lot more breaks to just sort of take a breather. It was very nice and believe you – me, I took ADVANTAGE! Because, really. That is a fluke in a doctor’s office, especially this time of year. I will not take it for granted. Speaking of this time of year, I’m LOVING it! This is absolutely my favorite time of the year. I love waking up and seeing everything through very dense fog. I like it being colder in the mornings. I’m not too keen on it being SO dark though. I used to be able to watch the sunrise on my way to work in the summer….now, it’s just dark and foggy. I like it though. I mean, it’s a change. And I firmly believe (along with other people) that autumn represents new beginnings and –change-. This time of year also makes me really want to watch Hocus Pocus. When my sister was little, it was...

So I'm finally updating. I think I just had to take a couple of days to really process everything. The family went on vacation. It was fantastic and I hope that we can go back soon. We visited the Orange Beach area of Alabama. Driving in a car for long distances are definitely more fun when you are driving with PEOPLE! I'm glad that we got to spend that time together talking and listening to different kinds of music. The room we stayed in was right on the beach and the view was breathtaking. Something about being so near the ocean is very therapeutic and cleansing almost. I love it!! That water was incredibly warm too! We went out to eat on Saturday with some friends. I think a great time was had by all. I almost peed my pants when we were trying to get Holly to eat a raw oyster though. It was such an event that we had an audience and they were all laughing so hard! I'm not even kidding. We even had money on the table. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so much!...

So I'm off today! The family is heading to Florida for Labor Day Weekend. I'm so excited. We're going to be staying right on the beach. I think we all need this vacation. Besides, I miss the times when it was just us girls. We've done so much, just the three of us. I honestly think we could do anything. So here is to hoping we have MUCH fun, much rest, and a fantastic time! See you on Tuesday!

I had a WONDERFUL time last night. I was invited to go on a dinner cruise on a river boat. The weather was picture perfect and the people were great! The food was excellent too. Really, no complaints from me. I also got a lot of pictures of the sunset. It was beautiful. Leaning against the railing and being able to feel the wind coming off of the water while watching the sun turn the clouds orange and pink is an amazing experience. Very serene. This morning I woke up fairly early, around 9. Went to lunch with Cherie to this REALLY GREAT restaurant in Turkey Creek called Stir Fry Cafe. YUM! I'm going to have to take someone there if they ever come and visit. My only complaint is that they didn't have sushi. But the atmosphere is so cool. It's like a restaurant and an art gallery too. Now I'm just cleaning and picking things up. It's about that time. I'm going to really have to watch my mood swings..and cravings!

I had to wear my glasses to work yesterday because my contacts were being difficult. I only wear glasses at night, before I go to bed, so it was very bizarre to be wearing them in the morning. At the moment, I'm also wearing toe nail polish and a skirt. I'm going to this river boat dinner. I hope to get a lot of really nice pictures of the sunset and the water. Maybe I'll let someone take my picture, maybe not. :p So the title of this is from the song "Push" by Sarah McLachlan. It's an amazing song. The two stanza's that stick out to me and really have meaning for me are: "Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go" You know who -you- are. I love coming across a song, or remember a song that really has meaning, that you can relate to. When I hear one I MUST share!

I knew the overcast skies and cool morning breeze were just a fleeting thing. Something to be enjoyed only by those who chose to get up early enough. The optimist in me wants to make it clear that it is a sign of things to come, but the realist who is sweating by mid-afternoon just growls. Patience isn't it's strong suit. It was also made abundantly clear to me last night that some people think I have absolutely no follow through with anything that I decide to undertake. While this fact may be true ( I changed my major 5 times in 3 years and I always start things and don't seem to finish them. This is particularly true with my art work) it still sort of hurt my feelings. It also made this little monster rear it's head up inside of me that yelled, "I'll show them!!" Show them -what- exactly? I have no idea. I've also changed positions at my work. I'm running around more instead of just sitting at a desk. This is a good thing as far as exercise is co...

I've tried to update this thing 3 different time and it's frozen up on me each time. *growls* It BETTER work this time. Just a little update: Saturday was pretty great. Spent some time with mom, had mexican. Good food and good company, it was a blast! Sunday was a little more low key. I just went to the gym in the morning and then rented some movies and worked on my drawing. I'm glad somebody is finally back!! I missed them A WHOLE BUNCH!! I've been told I'm a little bit bratty and I admit I like to poke them and tease them and make them uncomfortable for leaving me alone for so long. But I love them anyway. *laughs* Dumb things people say... ME: "Hey, you know that kitten you found like 8 months ago?" AUNT: "Yeah! How's she doing?" ME: "Well, she just had kittens. 4 of them!" AUNT: "HOW'D THAT HAPPEN??" ME: *BLINKS* "ummmm..." I'm having a little bit of trouble with my work situation. I'm trying rea...

Yuck. It seemed like yesterday was a bad day for everyone. I like how someone put it. “You’re like an emotional sponge.” And apparently I just needed to -wring- myself out...figuratively speaking. I feel so much better now and thank you, YOU! I had a moment the other day. I wake up 5:45 and I’m in the kitchen fixing my breakfast. Apparently I was making too much noise and my aunt woke up and came into the kitchen. Now right now there is nothing wrong with this right? She starts moaning. I kid you not!! Now there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with moaning when you get up because it’s so early, but she sounded like she was DYING!! She KEPT doing it!! Ooooohhhhhh.....ooooOOHHHHH.. c.C I turn to her, “Are you in pain?” “No, it’s just SO early!!” This is the same woman who wakes up at 4:30 when she has to work. I just shook my head and walked out of the kitchen. I took my breakfast of course, I usually just eat it really quick on the counter, but oh NO! I wasn’t about to stand ther...

I walked out of the house this morning and into a cloud. The fog was dense, blocking the sun, yet it still managed to feel muggy and warm. I was glad though. It was time for the blinding sun and blistering heat to take a break. I needed a break. I needed time to find my muse. I think she had gotten bored and joined the circus. I bet she's a pretty good juggler, or maybe she does a high wire act. I think about this often. I think about a lot of things in order to -not- think. Don't worry, it all makes sense in my world.

Just found this survey when I was cleaning out my older files and decided to finish it. It's basically WAY too hot to do anything else right now. 1) How old do you wish you were? I love where I am at with my life now, but I have to admit that 18, my senior year, graduating, everything a possibility, my grandmother was still alive. That was a good age! 3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I don’t really do anything except glare at it. 4) Do you consider yourself kind? EXTREMELY 5) What did you eat for breakfast today? Coffee and……coffee 6) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Check! I got two! I have wolf prints on my ankle and a Celtic knot on my back. 7) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? SPANISH! 8) Do you know your neighbors? No, I don’t think they speak English. But we do say hello to each other…I think. Okay, we really just smile at each other. 9) What do you consider a vacation? Any time you aren’t working or ...

Waking up at 5:45 on a saturday morning should be against the law. I heard Justin Timberlake's new song on the radio this morning. I'm still not sure whether I like it or not. I mean, it's very different and unique but it's also very repetitive. I think it has potential to be a great song if the radio doesn't overplay it, which it will. I'm having one of those days where thinking hurts. I really want to have a "no brainer" day and I don't want any complications. It's as if I'm on a line. I'm totally okay and fine standing right where I am, however if something were to happen, I would be over the line and that would be bad. Okay see? I obviously don't have a choice in this no brainer thing because I'm not making sense as it is and what I am saying is sounding juvenile. Oh well, when my brain returns from wherever it is...I will post again! *cue cheesy music*

Sick again. Monday morning my throat started feeling funny. It didn’t hurt, but it definitely felt swollen. That night I ‘knew’ I was getting sick. I started having that gross feeling where your body becomes over sensitized. This usually happens to me when I have a fever. I also started freezing!! I was in sweats and under two big covers and I was still shivering. On Tuesday morning I crawled out of bed. Taking a shower was extremely painful! I didn’t want anything touching me. Needless to say I got to work and had the nurses swab my throat. I have STREP! I can’t believe it. I haven’t had strep in forever! I’ve only had it once since I’ve gotten my tonsils taken out and that was 12 years ago. But, I’m back to work on today, I’m not running a fever and therefore NOT contagious. I’m a trooper I know, *flexes muscles* I also need help with something. My aunt and I have two cats, we also have a dog door out to the backyard which is fenced in. The cats are too old to climb over the fence an...

Not really much going on, but I felt like updating. I have this journal that I write in (not this one) that has the coolest cover! It says: If this journal could DRAW it wouldn't draw a straight line because that's boring - and impossible! No, it would draw amazing pictures of yet imagined and unseen things. It would be full of the original beginnings that lead to group shows, then solo shows and finally MASTERPIECES in blockbuster retrospectives. By then, it's pages would be priceless and end up in a plexiglass display case where they could listen as the whole world looked down at them "oooohing" and "aaahhing", but really thinking to themseleves "Well, I could have done that !" However, when I show it to people and I'm really excited about it, "look look! Isn't this hilarious?" They hardly get it. They'll read it and go, "mmm, yeah". Afterwards I feel like such a dork! Though it's hardly stopped me from sh...

"I think Im falling off Into a state of regression The expiration date Rapidly coming up Its leaving me behind to rank Always move forward Going straight will get you nowhere There is no progress Evolution killed it all I found my place in nowhere" ~GreenDay~ - Jaded Disgruntled Yes I am. You know I think that people cling to what is comfortable because it is safe and there is some level of confidence that comes with knowing what is expected. But on the other side of that is stagnation. I believe in improving, learning from past mistakes, and really challenging yourself. If the same thing is expected of you every day, how are you supposed to get anywhere? How are you supposed to grow as a person? I really hate how jaded everyone has become!! I’m not saying that I’m different or above this. I think I have just realized my position. I am a hamster on a wheel and I’ve suddenly become aware of this. The question is, what am I going to do about it?

I'm bbbaaccckkkk!!! I know I was missed too. ((pppttthhhhh)) So the trip went really well I think. My grandfather is doing very VERY well considering everything. He still gets up at dawn and feeds the goats and makes breakfast. I think the chemo treatments knock him out for a couple of days after but then he gets his strength back. His spirits are so high and he has such a great sense of humor. I 'DEFINITELY' know where my smart-ass-ness comes from though!! He tells the best stories too. I think once you become a grandparent a part of your personality is completely reformed into being all loveable and grandparent-ish. It was very hot in Oklahoma (duh) so I spent a little time swimming. Got a tan that faded within a couple of hours. No storms! PHEW!! The ride back was a little bit harder than the ride there because we drove straight through on the way back.....13 hours in a little box with 3 other people. Right around the 10th hour I was contemplating jumping out while it wa...

Mini rant: Why do some people say "you know?" or "you know what I mean?" after every sentence?? I think this is incredibly rude!! You are basically FORCING the person listening to you to interact and actually pay attention. I don't think it's horrible to say it sometimes.....case in point: You are talking to someone and they get that look. Their eyes glaze over and their mouth opens slightly in this dumbfounded way. Then by all means, please ask!! "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT???" But for goodness sake don't abuse it!! Like this: " Wow, it's really warm out this morning, ya know?" " I hate it when people leave their blinkers on, you know what I mean?" *blinks* I mean, is that necessary?? You're stating the obvious already. Okay, I'm done! :p It seems like I just got back, my body is slowly adjusting to normal sleep patterns and I'm finally getting back into the rhythm of things....and...

Interstate Antics Just a brief overview of what I witnessed on the highways, interstates, and roads this weekend. (I took a trip to Pensacola which is 8 hours = A LOT of time spent in the car!!) • I decided to leave early on Thursday instead of first thing on Friday morning. I leave from work and go pack, I’m so excited. So I get in my car and set off. 20 minutes later a rock flies up and impacts the center of my windshield. *blinks* The whole entire way –nothing- hits me except bugs…but 20 minutes from my house I get hit by a rock?? • Okay, let me set this one up for you. I was crossing this three lane bridge over the OCEAN! There isn’t much traffic out, but there is this monster of a car on my left. It was this huge blue Cadillac or something. Anyway, it was big! I’m just driving along staring at the ocean, because that is what I do when I see it…when out of the corner of my eye I see the car WAY too close than it is supposed to be, totally invading my bubble! So I yelp and swerve in...

Alright, I don’t know if it was from checking out the Texas Chainsaw new movie (which I saw a WEEK ago) or what. I’m really confused about where this came from. What is this? This incredibly horrible and VIVID dream that I had last night. And this time it did –not- feature a tornado, which was just weird in itself. So here goes, My dream: For some reason we open up on a cruise ship. The ship has docked though and we’re somewhere in the States because no one on shore has an accent. Apparently, I’m by myself with no family or friends on board. Cut to me on a four wheeler. A very –small- one. I’m sort of riding along on this trail that is like in the middle of a park. It’s a paved trail and in front of me it turns into a road that goes straight up this very steep hill. You can’t see up the hill though, it looks like a bunch of dirt piles and construction stuff going on up there. I’m going –VERY- slow. I mean honestly I could have gotten off and walked faster. In fact this group of women ...

So if you read my post yesterday then you know that the whole day was an exercise in finding things to do. I would have gone crazy if I was by myself and had to fill 8 hours of doing absolutely nothing. But lucky me, I had other people to share in the boredom. So we found YouTube. It’s this cool website if you haven’t heard about it, where people can post videos of ANYTHING. We saw Soccer goals from the World Cup, the Diet Coke/Mentos experiment, Cat’s massaging puppies, crazy lip synching people. And then we got organized. Oh yes!! We started hunting for 80's music videos!! *grins widely* So we found this group Shakespear’s Sister. It was two girls, one really tall with a soprano voice and one shorter girl with an edgy, deep voice. I think they were only together from 1988 to 1992. They had two hits in the US. One was “I don’t Care” and the other was this AWESOME song called “Stay”. The video is CRAZY though, you should check it out if you ever get the chance. Most people remember...

• I would love to get my hands on Einstein’s theory of relativity. I think it’s so interesting how time moves differently depending on what you are doing • I’m currently labeling EVERYTHING in my office because I am so incredibly bored. NOTHING is safe from me! *evil cackle* • I think it’s 100 degrees outside. Not really, it’s only like 91. But it FEELS hotter because it’s that ‘wet’ heat! *wrinkles nose* • I came into work with a mohawk this morning just because someone at work said that I wouldn’t. As soon as this said person got to work I washed the gel out though, I mean...come on, I work in a doctors office. • We have 143 tiles on the ceiling in my office. • I have heard James Blunt’s song “You’re Beautiful” 3 times this morning and it’s only 10:30. *blinks* • I simply cannot -WAIT- to go to Florida this weekend!! • I’m drawing again. At the moment I’m working on this commission, it’s portrait of Jessica Alba. I’m experimenting with spray paint and pastel pencils. • I’ve spent...

So, it is done. It was really uncomplicated and fast. The whole procedure took about 45 minutes. When I was done, they walked me to this recliner where I was waiting for my mother to pull around with the car. I must have been babbling about what the tooth looked like and if it was hard to pull out, if the roots were long..etc. My mom came in and she looks at me, "Why are you holding your tooth?? That's gross!" I look down and I'm really holding this blue packet with my tooth in it. I must have asked for it, but I don't remember doing so. The next day I feel good enough to go to work. The day goes really well but by 3:30 or 4 I'm feeling pretty wiped. I take a nap and then meet the family for dinner and a movie. By the end of the night I'm pretty sore but I have meds for pain so I just sleep it off. I just wish I could have gotten this done a lot sooner because the pain from having it pulled is nothing compared to the pain of having it in my mouth!! By the ...

Well, today is the day I get my tooth cut out. It’s weird because I have had numerous -major- surgeries, but for some reason, this one is making me a little bit nervous. I’m not freaking out or anything, but my tummy is a little bit nervous..butterflies. That will teach me not to watch those stupid medical shows where they talk about people waking up during anesthesia. It’s also scheduled for 1:30pm today so I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything at all...*grumbles* And usually I don’t eat anything until lunch time anyway, I just have a coffee or juice or something. But when you -CAN’T- have anything, holy cow does everything look yummy!! I’m so hungry!! *LOL* Just because I’m not supposed to have it, I want it. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully this will cure all of my tooth troubles that I have been having.

I feel like I'm standing in front of one. On my right I look down this paved pathway. I can see for miles into the distance and everything seems very safe. There are even flowers amid the green, green grass lining the sides of the road. On my left is another pathway. This one natural, like a worn path in tall grass. Weeds vie for sunlight on either side, some so large that they are falling over, creating mystery. I can’t see very far down that way. It’s sunny and very warm, no trees to offer their shade. I know I should make a decision soon, but I am an indecisive person and I simply cannot. I have to think, process, roll around ideas in my head. So I sit. I sit in front of these two lanes and I think. I think with the harsh sun beating down on my blonde hair, turning it a pale white. I want to make a decision. I place my elbow on my leg and rest my chin in my hand, squint my eyes, and bite my lower lip.

So the tooth drama continues. If I were cool..or psychic, I would have foreseen this and made a cool little tooth drama diary. But I'm not, so we get stuck with random little updates. It's been 2 1/2 months now. 10 weeks! So I've been scrambling trying to get a specialist to see me about my tooth. I thought it was the tooth with the crown that I just had put on last summer, but no....It's the tooth that I just had filled not once...But twice!! It's right next to the crown tooth, so close they are touching, so that's why I couldn't really pinpoint which tooth it was. Anyway, the endo-specialist said that I have three options. 1) Have a crown put on it with no guarantee that that would fix the problem. 2) Have a root canal and crown put on it..that would fix the problem but would also cost $1,000.00 3) Have it pulled - which he didn't recommend because I'm young and the tooth could be saved. I was like...yeah I'm young and broke unless you wanna do...

I know that I’m starting to sound like a broken record here, but yesterday...my tooth hurt so bad that I just wanted it pulled. I can’t just have a toothache, oh no. It was radiating to my ear, my eye, and my nose...basically the whole left side of my face. I called my dentist and said “Help me, please” in the most pitiful voice I could manage. He called in some more antibiotics and pain medication. Hopefully enough to last me until Wednesday when I go to the specialist. Besides that, my life could not be better. I don’t want to jinx anything, but in all reality things are so good right now. No drama, all happiness and love. :p I’m looking forward to this weekend too, we’re going to the lake. I need a tan desperately! I am SO white I almost glow. LOL I also really want to go see The Break Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. I love the part in the previews where they’re having a fight over the dishes! HILARIOUS! Also, I have to mention the duck x-ray. How weird is that? I’m not s...

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I did for sure. I spent the weekend in Pensacola, FL. It was VERY hot! But lots of fun was had for sure. While I was there I managed to visit the zoo. It's one of the smaller one's I've been to, but it's very charming! They had a beautiful leopard enclosure. ( H: You should have seen the leopards! Tell him what the leopards were doing Adrienne!!! *said all excitedly* A: *straight-faced and monotone* They were growling.) *giggles* I guess sometimes I'm not one for words. I've been told I'm not a great storyteller. Blah, Blah. I also learned a lot about myself. I think experiences can really open your eyes to things and to people. 'Nuff said. The drive home was -exhausting- though! I was fighting the whole way home to not fall asleep. I also got pulled over for the first time ever in my life. I had just merged onto the interstate and thought it was 60 mph. Unbeknownst to me it was a construction zone, so it was only 45...

Recently, my health really sucks. It seems like I’m always getting something, wether it’s a stomach virus or a tooth ache. Which wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary, I do work with sick children all day. But I’ve been doing that for the past 5 years and I haven’t been this sick before. I’m chalking it up to stress. I have been stressed lately....moving and financial trouble. All that worrying has probably just opened the door for whatever feels like skipping on through. What really sucks though is my tooth. My dentist thinks I might have to have a root canal on a tooth that I just had a crown put on last summer!! Less than a year ago. And to top it off I keep having all of this bloody mucous from a sinus infection and I might have an abscess on the roof of my mouth. *grumbles* It’s not pleasant. But I have since moved and I have since made out an excellent budget, so I’m on the upside of things. I have also planned a trip in June which I am VERY excited about it, even if it is for a week...