Frame of Reference

Only lights on oak trees but it looks like an outer space picture to me. 

Something White.

I've decided to challenge myself and do the 100 photography prompts by Travis Fitzgerald. Light  

I didn't actually check the entries, but I do believe that I've set a personal record for LEAST amount of posts this year. Why? Maybe I just didn't feel like being in my head. Maybe I didn't like what I was thinking. Maybe I just didn't have time to be so self involved, self-cenetered, so ... wrapped up in all things me. I do know that this lack of checking in with myself has also coincided with the most weight that I've ever gained in my entire life. With the most pain that I've ever been in, physically. The most period of adjustment as far as feeling what it's like to be a mom, even a co-parenting mom. Which, the thing is, it's so incredibly fluid. Just as soon as I get used to something or set into a routine it changes. It literally turns into something else. All we can do is try and fake it, there is a shit ton more faking it than I ever thought!

I found Tegan and Sara when I was at a very.... interesting point in my life. I think when that happens, when you can glue a particular artist, or songs, or lyrics to a point in your life. Unfortunately, it kind of ruins the rest. No matter what they create, no matter what happens... it won't be like that time. I suppose it's likened to the first kiss, to the first high, to the first anything, really. As disconnected as I feel to their recently released material... a few songs bring the pangs to the heart. A lyric in particular? Yep, got it. "You will be good to me but you won't be my dream. You'll lose me to places, places that I've never been." Shit man. This job that I have. It feels different. I don't play with it. To think, Casey in my house. What a small world that we live in.

These dreams I've been having lately. I don't remember all of them, but I remember how I feel. The feelings last even when the details don't.

I always try to fit this writing into a box. I try to make it something or try to turn it into something else. It never works. All it is, is a place for me to write what I know, what I feel, experience, see, think... I have occasionally thought, what if I had something like this from my grandmother, or my mother. How much would I cherish that? I'm not pretending to think that ANYONE would be interested in this whatsoever. It's just thoughts.

The books I read in January ->  Smoke & Summons by Charlie N. Holmberg. This book was “recommended” by kindle because of past books I’ve read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was very well written and the characters' development was nice. The world was unlike anything I’ve read about before and the idea that people could be used as vessels for other worldly beings to enter our 'plan' of existence, well that’s intriguing. I also appreciated the tongue-in-cheek middle finger to organized religion. It’s not blasphemous but does highlight dangerous pitfalls. I liked this book enough to check out more work by this author since the sequel to Smoke & Summons isn’t out yet. Blood for Blood by Victoria Selman. This was a free book that kindle lets users choose monthly. I really love this feature as it turns me onto new authors. As for the book, female heroine who’s a badass but dealing with internal demons (metaphorical) that brings her back into the human realm. ...

Happy New Year! The weather has been crazy here. Very warm, very rainy, and very foggy. We've essentially been living in a cloud since Christmas. I love the fog though. I love the sounds and the way that the lights look. I've done a lot of reflecting, a lot of soul searching. Looking forward to this year and what it will bring. Looking forward to laughs, adventure, love, curveballs, tears, joy... all of it.