Frame of Reference

Arms spread and stars gazed willing people to look in, see even turn their heads sideways. Don't tell me I don't mean what I say. A closed fortress of secrets kept hidden Ulterior motives and plans written in invisible ink. That's not me. I'm not an actress and this isn't a stage. I think differently. I see differently. But I plead, scream, cry and bleed the same. I care, love, appreciate, and harbor hope. Don't blink and say that I don't. My thoughts get lost in translation but I'm not holding them hostage. I don't stand on a board built for a game. The doors are open beyond the maze.

It's really sad when a few rotten tomatoes spoil the whole bunch. There are good people in this world. I met some of them tonight. Why is it the bad people make such a lasting impression? As humans, as people, it's our choice how we let other people affect us. I can logically say that I will not let a few bad incidents get the best of me. Logically. In reality, it does. I can't help but think that maybe if I had done something differently, this person would have been more nice. What I can do is rejoice in the fact that it's over with. It's the past. It's happened and I don't have to think about it or deal with it any longer. That makes me happy.

Our lunch destination. A virtual oasis in the desert along Hwy 50 in Nevada. Oregon Zion National Park in Utah

This is Highway 50, also known as " The Loneliest Road ". It stretches through most of Nevada. A pretty neat thing we saw, besides desert, was initials spelled out in rocks on the side of the road for miles and miles. A beach in Oregon along Highway 101 Another beach in Oregon along Highway 101.

A random turn off on Hwy 101 in Oregon. This path led to a gorgeous waterfall. A bridge in Oregon, covered in fog. Having been born in Oregon, you'd think I would have known that seals live there. These might have been sea lions, I wouldn't know the difference. One thing I do know? They are very vocal and very loud! Remember that question you might have once heard in High School? "If a tree fell in a forest and no one was around to hear it, does it make a noise?" To sit and consider that no, it doesn't, is a bit trippy. To learn and fully realize that sounds only exist in one's mind is a slightly odd notion. That means that music only exists in our heads. Otherwise, it's only vibrations. So the tree would fall but it would make no noise unless someone was there to hear it and interpret the vibrations into sound. It makes one wonder what else can only exist in people's heads.

Almost made it all the way through a cross country trip without running into storms. Alas, the storms found me. I hate the plains. Somewhere in Idaho

Astoria Column in Astoria, Oregon. Yep, climbed to the very top of that thing. It was so foggy you couldn't see 10 feet in any direction and my legs were literally trembling when I got back down, but well worth it. I can't remember where this was. We had just stopped to get gas in this very "off the beaten path" exit. I'm going to guess in between Idaho and Washington. Early morning sunrise in Astoria, Oregon.

Dust Devils were EVERYWHERE in Washington! This would be a waterfall in Yellowstone. I'm sure it has a name, but I don't know it. A geyser close to Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming I saw a city named Caliente in Nevada. Surprisingly? Not hot. (Come on, that was cute!) I saw a tarantula the size of a baby rabbit cross the road. It's existence is in question, however, because when I pointed another one out, it turned out to be a skid mark. But I swear!

A very smelly, yet beautiful pool/geyser in Yellowstone. Smelled like sulfur. View of the Teton's from Yellowstone. Grand Teton's in Teton National Park, right before Yellowstone in Wyoming

Eastern Wyoming CarHenge in Alliance, Nebraska Seward, Nebraska A way to last.

Because sometimes, things make as much sense as a pink elephant holding a martini glass.

I don't understand. Nothing inside of me understands either. Understanding doesn't change anything though, does it?

Hush - Voices Carry. It is my sister's court date today. I woke up the same time that she has to be woken up for it. She'll most likely sit, awake, ready for an hour to get on the bus that takes her to court. Even if nothing happens today, which she firmly believes, I hope that she isn't too scared. I feel incredibly protective of her. I want to scream at the prosector and make sure that they know to use words that Holly can understand. I want to make sure everyone explains things to her in such a way that she actually gets it. She will nod that she understands, even if she doesn't, to not bring attention to herself. It reminds me of the ball pit my sister and I were in at Chuckecheeze. I would push her down the slide and pelt her with balls. She would get irritated and whine and try to chase me around. But I was bigger, older, and in control. Another little boy came through, saw what I was doing, and started hitting her with balls too. She started crying. I walked over...

I thought. I think. Look up Defying Gravity from the Glee Cast. Look up One Second by Tegan and Sara.

With the stars in the sky above me, I rolled down my windows and flew, the wind playing over my hand. In a very self absorbed moment, I thought: I frustrate. I'm good at it. I do things differently. I take words literally and I hardly ever speak anything but figuratively. My silence drives people crazy. I have to take what it is in my head and translate it. Sometimes I get lost. I get lost in eyes and voices and the way lips move and mouths form words. It's splattered on canvases that rest behind my own eyes. I have to make sense of it. I am slow. I am slow to respond and slow to believe. I don't connect easily, hardly at all, ever. It's not easy to know me. I don't make it simple. I have heavily guarded fortresses that need to be climbed over, through, and demolished. Just when you think you've done it, four more walls are erected with a smirk. I stare at nothing at all. Sometimes in the middle of sentences or stories or moments. I stare for too l...