Frame of Reference

Sometimes I get lost in his eyes. I didn't think I could love another human being so much, so completely, and yet... here comes another little baby boy and my heart is already in protective, love mode. Who knew that boys would steal my heart? Isn't it ironic? And then sometimes shit happens. But it's all going to be okay. Family let's you down but they are family and love is unconditional. Friends are friends and whether they want to continue to be your friend is their choice. The world keeps turning and love keeps growing. Grass takes over burned ground. It can be a good thing if it's controlled. Test next week or tomorrow. Birth next week or tomorrow. Death next week or tomorrow.

It's funny how the negatives are so much easier to focus on than the positives. I am an addict for metaphors so I will "liken" it to ... being very sleepy, every nerve in your body screaming for sleep (positive) yet you focus on your brain and the thoughts (negative). Sometimes you should just listen to your body, not your brain or your heart. Just your body. It's the most basic thing that ties you to this world after all. Meta physicists would disagree, but I'm not one, so there's that. I dread going to work tomorrow. Isn't that sad? (negative)

I had a pretty decent birthday yesterday. Sweet gestures were done that made me feel loved by a lot of people. Great pizza and good beer. Next year it's sushi though, I don't care who is invited. With the good comes the bad, it is my family after all. I've found myself in this boat with these people many, many times, so I am hesitant to really say anything about it at all. The possible outcomes are as numerous as the stars in the sky. (Probably not that many, but I really love that metaphor). All any of us can do is wait to see what happens. Am I affected? Yes, but it is not my life path or choices to make and I believe I am semi on the right track. Enjoying the long hair, the 70 degree weather, and smiles from my favorite little boy. Oh, and pie. I am LOVING the chocolate pie.

I stare at the blinking cursor on a white page. Sometimes I invert the colors so the white turns to black, just to give the pretense of change. Sometimes I type words. A lot of them and then hold down the backspace key and watch each letter disappear faster than the one before it.

A new Love. LOST GIRL. Liquid in lungs, not so much!