Frame of Reference

You know, the past couple of years I have been "anti-resolution", even anti "holiday" to a degree. I've been stuck in a rut, standing still and waiting for something or even someone to make a move. To get this life started again in a direction. I didn't care what direction. I didn't care to stand still even. It takes a lot of effort to move and what if I moved the wrong way, took the wrong path? I just maintained and didn't cause ripples. I didn't rock the boat and looked out for everyone else. If not financially then emotionally. I want this year to be different. I want to set goals and exceed them. I want to move, and it doesn't matter how or where I move. I just want to move!! Not moving is worse than moving in the wrong direction. Financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's all going to change for me. I am very, very confident of that. I'm also going to keep track of it better. I want to learn from the past, not repe...

Wow, I've never come across this poem before. Good stuff. Invictus William Ernest Henley 1849–1903 Out of the night that covers me,  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,  I thank whatever gods may be  For my unconquerable soul.  In the fell clutch of circumstance  I have not winced nor cried aloud.  Under the bludgeonings of chance  My head is bloody, but unbowed.  Beyond this place of wrath and tears  Looms but the Horror of the shade,  And yet the menace of the years  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.  It matters not how strait the gate,  How charged with punishments the scroll,  I am the master of my fate:  I am the captain of my soul.

"You've reacted enough for both of us." True. I just want and I know what I want. Just two of us for Christmas and I have to work. I'm really looking forward to the Holidays being over. I'm a little tired of the music and the decorations and the well wishes...every...single...day. I think it's just built up anticipation for a climax that is... I don't know. The house is delayed. My muse is teasing me.

It's a mystery to me, all that is going on in the world. I'm in the middle of procuring a house. It's stressful and hectic and it's going to have ripple effects that I can't even imagine at the moment. And in the midst of it, I picked up a Scientology book. Not because I want to join the religious group. It's because the only facts I have about that religion is what I have been fed from the media. It's time to figure out facts and form my own opinion. Just something that's always nagged at me. It wasn't exactly covered in my college religions class. Everything else seems on track. Schedule change for the new year. We will see what repercussions or benefits I gain from that, both physically and socially.