Frame of Reference

I write about walls often. I think it's a very real metaphor for me. Its a means of protection and I think it always has been. I let my walls down for a select few. I get hurt and angry. Not at those people but at myself. At my vulnerabilities. I think it's a constant question of living in safety or living real. Feeling everything. Feel hurt, feel love, feel heartbreak, feel safety, feel like falling. I feel like I sometimes walk amongst the debris of my fallen walls. I think I sometimes look down at my bloodied hands and realize that I've been haphazardly putting them back up, cracks and all. Maybe they don't just protect me. Maybe they protect others from me.

Relationships are so incredibly beyond me. For Example: Bailey -> An incredible dog that we have had since she could barely walk and eat solid food. Loves us and loves my mother. Has recently shown aggression towards Caiden when he crawls towards her food bowl or when she's sleeping. It's not (serious) yet.  But it is quickly going that way. Like she doesn't care!! Wren -> Always threatened members of my family. Scratches and swats at any given chance. Eats the taste of fear for an appetizer. But lets Caiden pull out a fist full of fur and ALWAYS ALWAYS smacks him with her pads, absolutely NO CLAWS. Like she knows!! How freaking weird is that?? Gallery night is this friday. I think I'm going to go. Live it up! Meet people. I have my Octopus up. It's titled BLUE INK. Different from my normal style. A bit more... Tattoo-ish, per se. I am really proud of it. I'm starting another one already. One that I started a long time ago but instead of co...

I woke up to a ring around the moon, got in my car and Guns N Roses was playing Paradise City on Friday the Thirteenth. It turned out to be an interesting day. Noah has colic and severe acid reflux. I haven't been getting much sleep. They are both incredibly precious though. It's amazing to be there with Caiden when he's figuring everything out. I swear you can literally see his mind working and looking for the next thing and the next thing. I am going to be finished with my Octopus tomorrow. I hope to get it framed and in the gallery by next payday. On to the next one. Even dark places can produce things or moments of beauty.