Frame of Reference

I walked out of the house this morning and into a cloud. The fog was dense, blocking the sun, yet it still managed to feel muggy and warm. I was glad though. It was time for the blinding sun and blistering heat to take a break. I needed a break. I needed time to find my muse. I think she had gotten bored and joined the circus. I bet she's a pretty good juggler, or maybe she does a high wire act. I think about this often. I think about a lot of things in order to -not- think. Don't worry, it all makes sense in my world.

Just found this survey when I was cleaning out my older files and decided to finish it. It's basically WAY too hot to do anything else right now. 1) How old do you wish you were? I love where I am at with my life now, but I have to admit that 18, my senior year, graduating, everything a possibility, my grandmother was still alive. That was a good age! 3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I don’t really do anything except glare at it. 4) Do you consider yourself kind? EXTREMELY 5) What did you eat for breakfast today? Coffee and……coffee 6) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Check! I got two! I have wolf prints on my ankle and a Celtic knot on my back. 7) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? SPANISH! 8) Do you know your neighbors? No, I don’t think they speak English. But we do say hello to each other…I think. Okay, we really just smile at each other. 9) What do you consider a vacation? Any time you aren’t working or ...

Waking up at 5:45 on a saturday morning should be against the law. I heard Justin Timberlake's new song on the radio this morning. I'm still not sure whether I like it or not. I mean, it's very different and unique but it's also very repetitive. I think it has potential to be a great song if the radio doesn't overplay it, which it will. I'm having one of those days where thinking hurts. I really want to have a "no brainer" day and I don't want any complications. It's as if I'm on a line. I'm totally okay and fine standing right where I am, however if something were to happen, I would be over the line and that would be bad. Okay see? I obviously don't have a choice in this no brainer thing because I'm not making sense as it is and what I am saying is sounding juvenile. Oh well, when my brain returns from wherever it is...I will post again! *cue cheesy music*

Sick again. Monday morning my throat started feeling funny. It didn’t hurt, but it definitely felt swollen. That night I ‘knew’ I was getting sick. I started having that gross feeling where your body becomes over sensitized. This usually happens to me when I have a fever. I also started freezing!! I was in sweats and under two big covers and I was still shivering. On Tuesday morning I crawled out of bed. Taking a shower was extremely painful! I didn’t want anything touching me. Needless to say I got to work and had the nurses swab my throat. I have STREP! I can’t believe it. I haven’t had strep in forever! I’ve only had it once since I’ve gotten my tonsils taken out and that was 12 years ago. But, I’m back to work on today, I’m not running a fever and therefore NOT contagious. I’m a trooper I know, *flexes muscles* I also need help with something. My aunt and I have two cats, we also have a dog door out to the backyard which is fenced in. The cats are too old to climb over the fence an...

Not really much going on, but I felt like updating. I have this journal that I write in (not this one) that has the coolest cover! It says: If this journal could DRAW it wouldn't draw a straight line because that's boring - and impossible! No, it would draw amazing pictures of yet imagined and unseen things. It would be full of the original beginnings that lead to group shows, then solo shows and finally MASTERPIECES in blockbuster retrospectives. By then, it's pages would be priceless and end up in a plexiglass display case where they could listen as the whole world looked down at them "oooohing" and "aaahhing", but really thinking to themseleves "Well, I could have done that !" However, when I show it to people and I'm really excited about it, "look look! Isn't this hilarious?" They hardly get it. They'll read it and go, "mmm, yeah". Afterwards I feel like such a dork! Though it's hardly stopped me from sh...

"I think Im falling off Into a state of regression The expiration date Rapidly coming up Its leaving me behind to rank Always move forward Going straight will get you nowhere There is no progress Evolution killed it all I found my place in nowhere" ~GreenDay~ - Jaded Disgruntled Yes I am. You know I think that people cling to what is comfortable because it is safe and there is some level of confidence that comes with knowing what is expected. But on the other side of that is stagnation. I believe in improving, learning from past mistakes, and really challenging yourself. If the same thing is expected of you every day, how are you supposed to get anywhere? How are you supposed to grow as a person? I really hate how jaded everyone has become!! I’m not saying that I’m different or above this. I think I have just realized my position. I am a hamster on a wheel and I’ve suddenly become aware of this. The question is, what am I going to do about it?

I'm bbbaaccckkkk!!! I know I was missed too. ((pppttthhhhh)) So the trip went really well I think. My grandfather is doing very VERY well considering everything. He still gets up at dawn and feeds the goats and makes breakfast. I think the chemo treatments knock him out for a couple of days after but then he gets his strength back. His spirits are so high and he has such a great sense of humor. I 'DEFINITELY' know where my smart-ass-ness comes from though!! He tells the best stories too. I think once you become a grandparent a part of your personality is completely reformed into being all loveable and grandparent-ish. It was very hot in Oklahoma (duh) so I spent a little time swimming. Got a tan that faded within a couple of hours. No storms! PHEW!! The ride back was a little bit harder than the ride there because we drove straight through on the way back.....13 hours in a little box with 3 other people. Right around the 10th hour I was contemplating jumping out while it wa...