Frame of Reference

What a bizarre few months this has been. I can't even really organize my thoughts about it all. Not in a coherent way, anyway. Two hurricanes are making landfall within a couple of days of one another. Routines are starting again tomorrow. I'm hoping they call me to schedule my surgery. Serious news these days have become the norm. Met with a deep breath and an "okay", instead of dread and dramatics.  My reading has slowed down this year. I was hoping to hit 35 but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. I did find entertainment in streaming.  Travelers Schitt's Creek Killing Eve Star Wars Killing Eve has, by far, been my favorite. It's kind of made me want to take a screen writing class. I mean, I'm very old for that, but who cares? 

So... over the years I've heard it many times, many different ways. You need to be alone, be by yourself. You are so focused on other people that you don't even know what you want. So... over the years I've heard it many times, many different ways. You are so focused on yourself, you are so narcissistic, you can't even begin to imagine what a partner might need, might want. I think I've done both. Equally. Without a second thought to the other. I have been so self-centered, so self-involved. Shit, re-read my entires. Me, me, me, me-me. Then there are some where I try so hard to become what someone else needs. Musically, physically, etc. Like, liking my eggs the way my special someone does.... a la "Runaway Bride". And then... my sister died. And then... I have two boys... and then, nothing is about me, except maybe, in a peripheral way. My jokes, my stories, my humor, my excitement. It's all boy. All the time. Is it okay? Am I okay with that? I ...

I struggled with this one.

Taking this a bit too literally I think..🤔