Frame of Reference

I truly believe that most if not all of human emotions can be seen through the eyes. I feel very much in control when I can look someone in the eyes and it always makes me feel a little bit better if when I first meet someone they look away first. Must be that animal instinct in us all that has to assert dominance, even though I am not a dominant person at all. I have learned that I can be completely knocked on my rear when I am fighting for that and lose...when someone stares me down and I (for some reason unknown to me) look away first. After that I am a complete mess. I start stuttering and laughing nervously. I don't like it at all. Maybe I am more of a control freak than I ever thought, either that or I have just a tad more animalistic tendencies than what is considered normal.

It's been brought to my attention that people I work with find me intimidating. To be fair, these people are fairly new and don't know me that well, however, I still find this shocking. I sat down with one of my fellow employees who felt this way and told her to explain it to me because I just don't see myself coming across that way. I never yell, I never get highly emotional, so I just couldn't figure out why they had this impression of me. What I was told is that I have high expectations and it's not necessarily that I intimidate them, it's that they think I hold them at such a level that they are scared of disappointing me. Weird huh? You live with yourself every day and yet can still be blind to parts of yourself.

So Here's a look at my latest endeavor. This was a lot of fun actually. Who knew drawing on shoes with sharpies could be such a blast!? These bad girls were originally intended for a Christmas present for my younger sister and they were going to look more tattooish and dark. As soon as I started with the blue though, I really really wanted to turn them into a funky 80's 'thing' and when I finally finished one shoe I didn't think she would appreciate them as much as I do! Sooo , I kept them for myself! She did in fact like them although I don't think she would wear them still. I've actually gotten a couple of requests to do some for my friends, different style of course. I would love to try, but with requests like that, I always get really nervous it isn't going to turn out how they wanted or expected. *shrugs* We'll see what happens though. You never know, one day I might become famous and these shoes will be on E-Bay for thousands of dollars! Keep ...

I don't like New Year's Resolutions. I'm glad that people have them, I mean, it's not like I'm totally against them. It's nice to have goals. I just don't like that we have to wait until the beginning of the year and set out a plan. It reminds me of high school when you were supposed to pick which track you wanted to go down, Academic or Technical. That extended planning doesn't work for me. I say throw away guidelines and schedules and structures. I finally got around to posting the Tegan and Sara concert pictures. You can see all of them on my flickr page, but this one is my favorite. I'm playing around with some different media. Watercolor, markers, ink and such. If it turns out all right, I'll throw it up here. Hopefully some more commissions will be coming my way and my website will be up and running soon.