Frame of Reference

I survived the day. It was mildly uncomfortable. You would have been proud of my efforts at making small talk. Unfortunately, it was not well received. I'm not the worse for it though. It happened, we will move on. I got accepted to NASA. How cool is that to be able to say? I'm spasming and bleeding when I'm not supposed to be doing either. The world is topsy turvy but if I hold my breathe everything might right itself without any input from me.

It's always a weird phenomenon when you start measuring time by moments. That is especially true for myself this weekend. 20 more minutes until my Botany Lab Final. Tomorrow is their party, just let me get through tomorrow with all of the people. Visit with Tom was nice. It's always good to keep people who want to be in your life, close. Just let me get through tomorrow. Shady happenings with secrets in families are no good and very toxic. I can be civil, I don't have to be nice. Two finals on Monday. I strongly dislike things that interrupt my routine. I got accepted to NASA as a volunteer. I don't think I'm gonna take it because they want 40 hours. It's an awesome opportunity but other doors will open for me, I'm sure of it. Just let me get through tomorrow. After Monday, I will be done for a bit. Then what? I can't seem to look past this summer. The future is too cloudy, not in a bad way, just in a way that I can't see through. Maybe it's exci...

The next two weeks look to be... eventful and time management heavy. It's all about problem solving and flexibility. Speaking of flexible, I have a case of lack-thereof. Pinched nerve in my neck. It really only bothers me at night when my right arm keeps losing feeling and it feels like something is biting my shoulder. The yard is coming together. Yard work has become my outlet for stress. I hate mosquitos though and they are abundant!! Flower addict right here! Easter was fun.

We got our first bloody nose this evening. It wasn't as dramatic as it sounds. They had a collision and there were tears and slow seepage of blood from one nostril. As long as you remain calm they will remain calm, for the most part. He actually thought it was very cool and his brother was jealous and wanted a bloody nose too. You know the semester is close to ending when even the professor says "fuck it" and cancels lecture for the remainder of the semester and is all... just do some assignments and email them to me. Done, sir. That is called being done. I have to have my 60 thousand mile maintenance done, which is like 300$. Crap, it's always something.

I can see the light at the end of the temporary tunnel sometimes. Sometimes it is very bright and very easy to be positive and upbeat. This is all going to be worth it, the results, potential, and unknown are all quite exciting. Other times its a bit of a limbo and I find myself just living day by day, being my own cheerleader just to get through the day because I'm so tired, physically and emotionally. What's happening with my sister? What's going to happen with my nephews? What kind of plans should I be making? It's impossible to say. So we live half in and half out. Honestly can't complain too much though. Our lives are rather charmed. Just make sure not to take anything for granted. Every moment is fleeting and the good moments far outweigh the 'struggle' moments.