Frame of Reference

I finished the series of Battlestar Gallactica this morning. I believe I cried during the entire last hour. It was a very nicely done series. A lot of unanswered questions. I have to say that I really hated and really loved how Starbuck's story ended. Either way, I really felt that I was transported. I cared about the characters and their stories and that's a sign of a great, great story. I also read an article about bonding and touch. How bonding with a child is similar, yet vastly different, to bonding with a mate or with anyone. Human's require it though. Touch, the feeling of being important to someone. I think some people need it more than others. It was a very good article.

The purple shouldn't run parallel to the wing and the neck should intersect more with the edge of the moon. It is what it is. As is everything. Everyday. And the day after and the day after that.

I've always felt that my problems aren't enough. How messed up is that? That my reactions to issues aren't normal and I am somehow doing something wrong. Newest skateboard Acrylic

The government shutdown is postponed. It's beyond my fathoming that news outlets are reporting that it's over. We will see. I have applied at various other places, my fingers are crossed. I got a call today that I sold TWO PAINTINGS IN ONE DAY!?!?!?! My mind was blown. My mind has yet to wrap around the fact that I've sold even one!! I have a skateboard to put up tomorrow but it's very abstract and I don't think I'm very happy with it. I am looking forward to doing a heron though. It's going to be minimalistic. It's good to look forward to something... I'm afraid of tomorrow.

I almost over slept this morning.  I woke up with 20 minutes to shower and get dressed. Rushed into the kitchen, no coffee. Work, new procedures. A 50 page manual to memorize by today. There will be a test New procedures equals slower processing time Which equals late passengers which equals pissed off people "Hey lady!!" I hear from 25 feet away. I'm standing next to an elderly gentleman who is talking to me. He's confused and isn't sure what to do. My attention is momentarily diverted to said screamer. He's a young guy, late 20's early 30's. Well dressed. Obviously used to getting what he wants. Looks like a golfer. He points to his shoes and screams "SHOES?!?!" I nod and hold up my finger in the UNIVERSAL language of 'hold on'. The passenger I'm dealing with is literally pulling on my arm. I turn to him and smile, continuing trying to explain things. I overhear 'shoe' guy say, "What the fuck?" he tur...

I do not want to be an angry person. I don't want that living inside of me like a parasite, eating away the fibers of my humor and good nature. I struggle to let it go.

After my brooding yesterday, I woke up with a positive determination to listen to music, control what I can, and be okay with the rest. I sidestepped poisonous conversation and bitter anger amongst coworkers and supervisors. An elderly lady (passenger) even told me that she was incredibly happy that I was the one that "got her" because I was so sweet and 'gentle'. She took my name down and told me she would request me on her next flight out. Another woman (passenger) walked up to me and handed me her ticket. She looked at me and tilted her head before asking "Aren't you kind of too pretty to work here?" I was honestly speechless and I still think it's a bit of a backhanded snarky compliment. She walked away before I could respond. I don't ever and would never think of physicality as being considered in anything, especially where -I- am concerned... except procreation and lust and maybe Hollywood, but even then... So it was good until our debri...

I wake up each morning hoping that the government shutdown has ended. Each day that it is shutdown is another day that is not going to be on my paycheck. In calm moments I have clarity that I've become a slave to this stress. Who am I, that I worry about money so much? That I let it affect me to this point? Worrying about it isn't going to change things. I suppose being bombarded with coworkers talking about loans and taking money from their retirement and delaying car payments and having their electricity turned off, not to mention the supervisors telling us every morning that they understand morale is low, it sucks, carry on. Great pep talk. But what else can they say? I've never done well being alone with my thoughts. I need to keep busy.

So working without pay sucks. Going on day five. All of us are calling our banks to see what resources are out there. Nada. There are perks, for sure. Sam's, some restaurants, evens some car companies. But as far as bills, credit cards go... gggrrrr The working environment is toxic. Surrounded by negativity. I listen to music. A lot! Looking, browsing for opportunities.