Frame of Reference

Today I just want to float on my back in a pool of cool water. I want to watch the clouds float by and then the stars. I want to eat eggs-benedict and listen to amazing music. Autopilot.

Sometimes things happen, usually concerning other people that just make you feel like you've entered the twilight zone. Things seem off or actions don't seem 'right'. Which is relative, but for me...at least recently...I want boundaries with people. I can't imagine engaging in some actions that people that I know do on a regular basis and feel that it's normal. But no judgment, just not for me. I took yesterday off. I was getting a little bit burnt out on working and going to school every SINGLE day. I took my eldest nephew to get a hair cut and then both boys got to hang out at the Halloween store for a bit. They had a blast. A little bit of unsureness but lots of fun playing swords and trying on masks. We got treats after because they were so good and didn't fight me when I told them it was time to leave. I got a text last night asking me to come to work right after school. Ugh. I really need to find another job that works with my school schedule. This...

I had some bizarre dreams last night. In one I got pulled over by a police officer for braking when I saw him. I also dreamed about a yorkie puppy and a golden doodle puppy. Go figure. Looking for new music. Reading the Belial series. Studying for the two exams that I have this week. Trying to plan time to work on my GIS lab. I really am grateful for the time that I am allowed to spend on my school work while at my real work. That being said, there is only so much that I have been able to do to fill my time. I'm not complaining per se, well... yes, yes I am. Twelve hour days suck ass. Must end on a positive note. Mind over matter and all of that. MUSIC. Still loving Vallis Alps. They need to do more songs.

Tomorrow is my first test. I'm nervous. Then I have one Monday and Wednesday. I've also been asked to tutor. I'm not sure if I can fit that in or not. A lot of personal stuff happening. I just want to finish school and start a new chapter.

Today was a rough one, not gonna lie. It took a lot to get up and go to school. I wanted to luxuriate in my bed. School was a lot today. A lot of labs that were challenging and lots of information. A lot of students getting frustrated and angry and lashing out. More than I've ever seen at school before. I don't like confrontation, even when I am not involved. Some kind of flight or fight thing inside of me is set to the wrong setting. You know how when you drive and you end up at your destination with no memory of actually driving there. Happening a lot. Worrisome. It makes me wonder what else I am doing without ever being conscious of it. Driving is serious business. Family/Friends frustration. But I can't do anything. Honestly I can't. That'a lie. I can accept. I can breathe. I can be happy even if...

Falling into bed. It's been a crazy day but now that I get a few seconds to reflect, it's been a really, really good day. Sure, I woke up with a headache that made me see stars every time I moved my head. But it went away eventually. Sure, my cramps were more painful than usual today. Yeah, I had an upset stomach. But man I had a fun drive to school. The weather was very nice. More than an amazing lunch. Lots of smiles. I laughed and commiserated with my classmates during my lab. I have to take a moment to tell this story. There is this guy, he is in a lot of my classes and is majoring in En. Man. as well. He could be a model, I'm not even kidding. He's tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled jaw, young... the whole package. He always dresses very nicely, sometimes even wears a tie. He's kind of quiet and I will honestly say that I wrote him off at first glance as a dick. Well, he's not. He's also not the brightest tool in the shed, but, he is one adorable ma...

Very sick, very painful cramps. Blessed and lucky enough to be able to stay in bed for most of the day and just medicate myself. Cookout was low-key and awesome. Billy got the boys a little tikes helicopter. They love it, fight over it, and lose interest in 10 minutes. But I think this toy will stick around. I'm starting to limit Caiden's computer time. At first it was 5 minutes tops that kept his attention. Now it's 30 minutes to an hour that his head is bent, playing games. It is ABC mouse and toddler specific games, however, I want to start with him learning that he needs breaks... and often. Bailey has injured herself. I believe her back leg has become dislocated. This used to happen when she was a puppy but hasn't happened in years. We can't seem to pop it back. I'm gonna give her another day with concentrated massages. I know it's not a broken bone but she sure isn't a happy camper right now. It's always something.

Still fighting this sickness. It's kicking my ass but I'm not backing down. My teeth even hurt. I got asked to work tomorrow. My ONE day off from both school and work. I said yes, but I wanted to ask everyone else first. I was waiting on one last person and I was convinced he was going to say no. But... to my surprise, he said he would do it. Saved at the last hour!! I'm SAVED. What do I plan on doing with my new found 24 hours of freedom? Sleeping in. I know, it's ambitious.

Looks like Hurricane Hermine is too east of us to make any kind of impact. I would never wish any damage or devastation on anyone. It is very exciting as far as my weather and climate class goes though. It's like Helen Hunt getting excited in Twister, but still not wanting the tornado to hurt anyone. I think that class and my conservation class are my favorites. Both are taught by the same teacher, Dr. Ortegren. He is phenomenal and so passionate and knowledgeable about his stuff. Very infectious.