Frame of Reference

Same song. Having to use a sick day for REALLY being sick just stinks!! I still have the sinus congestion and what-not but last night around 2:45 a.m. I started to really have fun with the vomiting and diarrhea. And what is it about being sick that you just HAVE to wake up EVERY hour. Is there some dumb internal alarm clock that says, "OH, hours up..time to get sick again." Sheesh. I'm still battling nausea at the moment but I think I'm on the mend. I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway. These things (viruses) are like deadly storms though. They can turn in an instant and just knock you on your rear...literally.

When I was little, I used to always have arguments with myself before doing something scary. I was the kid that stood on the diving board for 20 minutes before jumping in. It's not something I enjoy. In fact, I get very angry and frustrated with myself for not just doing it. Just jump in! But a part of me would freeze and have to weigh the consequences and the benefits. I'm entirely convinced there are two people living inside of me. A very compulsive daredevil and a very timid...nerd is the best word I can come up with here. But now, there are no diving boards, it's just decisions. Albeit life changing ones, but I still can't shake the internal debate. Why can't I just jump in? I thought this song by Sarah McLachlan was very fitting... It's called Train Wreck Would your love in all its finery tear at the darkness all around me until I can feel again until I can breathe again Cause Im a train wreck waiting to happen waiting for someone to come pick me up off the...

UGH...I - hate - being sick! I woke up Saturday morning with a nasty sore throat. I went to the doc just because I was a little paranoid about my already swollen lymph-node. It's not strep but I do have a viral infection. This morning it moved up into my sinuses and I kept choking and waking myself up. Must have been all of the snot running down the back of my throat. *whines* I - HATE - being sick!! I finished reading the " Amber Spyglass ". It wasn't as good as the Golden Compass but it was better than the Subtle Knife . Lyra and Will really did some growing up in this novel. I didn't care for the ending. While I understand 'why' it had to end that way...I didn't like it and I didn't think it was very fair to Lyra. It must be the romantic in me always wanting a 'happy ending'. I'm very happy about the form that Pan decided to settle on. Will's daemon wasn't very surprising at all though, but cute all the same. I was also a li...

I've quite possibly had the most disturbing and horrible dream that I have EVER had. *wrinkles nose* It's awful to even re-tell it. I hate when dreams are so REALISTIC and VIVID. It makes them incredibly hard to forget! So here it goes...I've warned you it's nasty! I'm at work and carrying a chart down the hall. When I get to the rack (where the charts go) I get a leg cramp...much like a charlie horse. It's very painful and I bend down to massage it. As I'm rubbing my leg I feel a knot forming. I kind of panic, but not too bad. I walk back down to the office but by the time I get there the whole calf is swollen and pulsing and there is little beads of sweat. I sit down immediately and Joanna starts freaking out. "I have to go get a doctor!" She says and runs down the hall. My leg is continuing to swell and it's very nasty looking. The Dr. comes down and sees it. His eyes widen and in a nervous voice he says, "We have to cut it open to reli...

Monday Monday Monday Your house or mine I don't really care about it anymore I close my eyes I, I make myself unhappy so you'll go Without me What's wrong with you Monday Monday Monday ~Tegan and Sara I hope everyone had a great 4th, I sure did. We all went to Norris and rented a pontoon boat. There were 8 of us total and we drove around, had a bbq, found an awesome cove and spent the day swimming and tubing. The water was incredibly warm and blue. It looked like water from the Caribbean!! Seriously, I didn't change the colors of the picture at all. It sucked that we had to go back to work on Thursday though. I got a stone in my salivary gland and had to be put on antibiotics. I suppose it's similar to a kidney stone because it just comes out in the duct under the tongue. It's better today, I think the gland in my neck might still be a little swollen, but nothing compared to the golf ball that was there last week. The weekend was pretty uneventful. I was feeling...

Are my hormones completely whacked? Am I losing my mind? My God, it feels like it. I haven't been able to sleep well in 4 days. My body is at a constant state of tension. It's as if I've been having a mild panic attack for hours upon hours. I feel torn between exhuastion and excitement and I'm pretty sure my mind has turned against me. It's like in the movies when the main character starts talking to themesleves. I have sympathy for them now because all I've been doing is telling my brain to just stop and leave me alone. But that's the kicker...it's the one thing in all the world you can't escape. I haven't been able to focus on much of anything. Whenever I find myself obsessing over these thoughts I try to distract myself.....think of vegetables, sheep, babies crying. My bottom lip is so incredibly sore from biting it so much and I think I have permanent nail marks in my palm. If something doesn't happen soon I'm gonna go nuts.

It's probably a normal phenomenon. Most of the population probably experiences it. How should I know? What I do know...is that certain spots on my scalp become very sore to the touch. I think I notice it more when I have a headache because it's then that I tend to rub my head. That, unfortunately, sets into motion a seemingly never-ending cycle. I rub my head, find a sore spot, rub it more, it becomes even more sore.....and so on. Not much has happened the past couple of days. Along with the subtle headaches and literal head aches...I've been experiencing weird cramping. It feels pre - menstrual ...but it's not. I'm keeping on eye on it though. If it lasts much longer I'm definitely getting it checked out. Actually things have been rreeaallllyyy slow the past couple of days. I've been very bored and have found it difficult to find things to occupy my time. I -DID- finish the Jessica Alba drawing! You can check it out on my deviant page...link to the right. ...