Ambiguous

It always happens in the moments in-between. Slow motion, I’m laughing and having a great time, I blink and look over to an empty chair or an empty space, a void. Then I reach for my phone. Swipe the screen and just stare at the light. Is it my sister that I want to text? Because, the moment that I find myself in is exactly the same moment when we all found ourselves in that tiny tattoo parlor in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, all getting the same exact ink? It’s kind of mind-boggling, the connection.

Is it an ex turned friend? Myself? A complete stranger? I think about that sometimes. Just talking to a stranger. I’m trying it out with co-workers. Some interactions are better than others. Some are so awkward I cringe even thinking back on it. Sometimes I remind myself of a Bateman. Just going through the motions that society dictates for me. Silently screaming. Sometimes it’s a rebel hippie, raging against the machine with my middle finger proudly proclaiming my state of mind. I’ve always found strength in sarcasm or is it feigned superiority? Maybe it’s always been the moments in-between that make us who we are.