Not Normal
I wake up before 3 a.m. The world feels differently than it does during the day, or night even. I feel differently. I drive to work in the dark. I have lunch when most people are waking up. I watch the sunrise at the same time I watch planes do the same. The stars disappear and so does the person standing in front of me. So do the thousands of images I search.
I climb into a hot vehicle and drive to another destination of responsibility. The sun follows me in the sky. I think that thoughts have left me. I stare ahead blindly. I hate when my brain stops and I am forced to fall back onto nothing but emotions. It's too raw for me. Too much.
I think about home and turn my blinker on. I don't want to go. Either place. But I sit in a chair that swivels and numbers start dancing while I form them into pretty lines with happy periods.
The volume in my headphones goes up of it's own accord. I watch peoples lips move and imagine my own dialogue.
I leave and it's me following the sun. But it's too far ahead, too far gone, behind a sky bruised with purple and red clouds. The stars tell me goodnight but I still have the music on and I can't hear them.
I climb into a hot vehicle and drive to another destination of responsibility. The sun follows me in the sky. I think that thoughts have left me. I stare ahead blindly. I hate when my brain stops and I am forced to fall back onto nothing but emotions. It's too raw for me. Too much.
I think about home and turn my blinker on. I don't want to go. Either place. But I sit in a chair that swivels and numbers start dancing while I form them into pretty lines with happy periods.
The volume in my headphones goes up of it's own accord. I watch peoples lips move and imagine my own dialogue.
I leave and it's me following the sun. But it's too far ahead, too far gone, behind a sky bruised with purple and red clouds. The stars tell me goodnight but I still have the music on and I can't hear them.
