Lotsa
A lot going on. Memorial Weekend at the 'port. Not as many interesting people as I'd thought there would be. More queens than anything else. Can anyone say "attitude"?
My baby boy Caiden has been down for almost a week. I simply can't put into words the love that I feel for this little bundle of joy. I also can't explain how my soul cries thinking about the life that he is going back to. The people that he will be surrounded by. I don't want to let him go. I want to hold him and teach him things and watch him when he smiles for the first time. I want to show him the moon and feel as his grip tightens. I want to watch his facial expressions when he tastes something he hates or loves, or when he walks in shoes!
I can't hand him back and watch him go away from me. Its such a different kind of pain and sadness than anything that I've every felt before in my life.
I can't believe I'm crying typing this. Wow. Who would have thought.
Okay
Breathe
I worked at the gallery today. It's a very low key place. Got to work with two very nice ladies. We painted a beach scene in our own way. I sketched it in colored pencil, the other two did it in watercolor. You would have thought we were looking at three different photographs. It was very cool. I like it a lot!
I keep going over in my head how I need to quit Gulf. I really want to focus on my art, now that I have this amazing opportunity in a gallery. Role play and practice.
I also went to the doctor. My Sciatic nerve is acting up again. Has been for two weeks. I thought it would get better if I layed on heating pad and was very careful to not over exert myself. But it just kept getting worse. I couldn't put my shoes on without taking a five minute break to recover afterwords. I couldn't sit without pain shooting down my right butt cheek, behind my knee, into the front of my calf.
So to the doctor I went. I was prescribed Steroids, anti-inflammatories, and pain meds. I cant take the pain meds except at night. Not with my jobs. One, I might let a bomb through, and two I would just fall asleep with the numbers.
I'm going to go get Caiden. Every seconds is precious with him. Every sneeze, and murmur and sigh. Every diaper change, and nuzzle, and eye roll. Every single toe. Have I mentioned when he sticks his tongue out and furrows his brow??
Everyone says I touch him too much. I hold him too much. If they could feel what I feel for a second, they would be awed by my restraint.
My baby boy Caiden has been down for almost a week. I simply can't put into words the love that I feel for this little bundle of joy. I also can't explain how my soul cries thinking about the life that he is going back to. The people that he will be surrounded by. I don't want to let him go. I want to hold him and teach him things and watch him when he smiles for the first time. I want to show him the moon and feel as his grip tightens. I want to watch his facial expressions when he tastes something he hates or loves, or when he walks in shoes!
I can't hand him back and watch him go away from me. Its such a different kind of pain and sadness than anything that I've every felt before in my life.
I can't believe I'm crying typing this. Wow. Who would have thought.
Okay
Breathe
I worked at the gallery today. It's a very low key place. Got to work with two very nice ladies. We painted a beach scene in our own way. I sketched it in colored pencil, the other two did it in watercolor. You would have thought we were looking at three different photographs. It was very cool. I like it a lot!
I keep going over in my head how I need to quit Gulf. I really want to focus on my art, now that I have this amazing opportunity in a gallery. Role play and practice.
I also went to the doctor. My Sciatic nerve is acting up again. Has been for two weeks. I thought it would get better if I layed on heating pad and was very careful to not over exert myself. But it just kept getting worse. I couldn't put my shoes on without taking a five minute break to recover afterwords. I couldn't sit without pain shooting down my right butt cheek, behind my knee, into the front of my calf.
So to the doctor I went. I was prescribed Steroids, anti-inflammatories, and pain meds. I cant take the pain meds except at night. Not with my jobs. One, I might let a bomb through, and two I would just fall asleep with the numbers.
I'm going to go get Caiden. Every seconds is precious with him. Every sneeze, and murmur and sigh. Every diaper change, and nuzzle, and eye roll. Every single toe. Have I mentioned when he sticks his tongue out and furrows his brow??
Everyone says I touch him too much. I hold him too much. If they could feel what I feel for a second, they would be awed by my restraint.