Honestly

I like the dichotomy of water birds. They can live in both the sky and the water and neither one really makes sense. They look too big to fly and then well you have feathers. Really amazing creatures.

"Why is this so hard?"

"Because, honey, you literally gave your entire heart, you stupid thing. You gave it all to someone else and it got broken. You found yourself suddenly looking at a thousand pieces of glitter and you have to pick each piece up individually. You think that even sounds easy? You think half-way through any sane person wouldn't look around at all the pieces left and just start crying because it's just so much?"

"Well give me a fucking vacuum!!!"

"I wish I could. I wish I could get down on my hands and knees and help you, too. But only you can see the pieces."

Kind of a rough day with my thoughts. Staying busy. Wednesday happens to be the day of reckoning. I can honestly say that I am a bundle of nerves about chemistry. 

Job hunting again. Still working on the coloring project. Reading like crazy. Finished Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

It was full of inspirational quotes and stories of rags to riches and people doing whatever they can to nurture their creativity. I did find the advice a bit unrealistic at time. I think its because it's coming from someone who is successful and telling people not to worry if your artistic endeavors never make you any money, just keep doing them anyway. While that is positive and idealistic, it's not necessarily realistic. But, I liked it for what it was and some of her theories are charming. 

I've had a couple of dreams where people are on the peripheral of my dream and they look so familiar. It's not until the end of my dream that it dawns on me who they are and I confront them and it's as if they were just waiting for me to figure out who they were before there is instant attraction and hugging and kissing. Today it happened with Zoie Palmer. Most bizarre, but welcome!