I'm Mad

I'm mad at you because you aren't here. I'm mad because I heard your favorite song today and I couldn't catch my breath. I saw you lying in the hospital bed and I saw our mom holding your hand, willing you to come back. I'm mad because the nurse washed your hair when you were already gone but we didn't know. You left without saying goodbye and I'm so mad.
I'm mad because Caiden read his first book to Nina today. He was so fucking proud and I was proud and it was a big surprise and she cried... you weren't there and you should have been. He's so fucking smart Holly and you should see it.
You should also see Noah though, because he got your heart. He stole all of the creativity that you have left and he wears it all for everyone to see. He's kind and he's so happy there aren't even words to describe it. He sees the world like it's meant to be seen, not like it's meant to be survived... and you would love it. You would have simply.... loved it all.