What does Friday mean?
Today was a cluster-fuck. All of the technology was down where I work. Apparently there was a surge or a pulse, who knows. We had to do most everything by hand. Icing on the cake was this party of 47 that were flying back to Jamaica. Little known fact about people from other countries... They like to take very inane american shit with them when they go home. Stuff that you, as someone living here, would never in a million years think to be a commodity. Remote controls? Of course! I need seven. For no electrical appliance that I am taking with me... Peanut butter. Hot Sauce. Jewelry.
I guess it goes to show that you will always think the grass is greener. Cool stuff is outside of someone's norm. Migraines and constant bitching rose to a level that I found quite unpleasant by 4:30am, and thats just from my coworkers.
Since I just kept my head down and tried to get through the day, I found myself sucked into a whirlpool of 'overthinking'. I need to metaphorically vomit so that I will feel better.
Begin:
There is a horrible flaw that I possess. I possess the ability to set myself up to get hurt like nobody's business. How do I do this, you might ask? Well, I think it stems from trust. Misguided trust because everyone knows that I have monumental trust issues. Just look at my insurmountable walls. Anyway, so, There is this person that you trust. That you like. (which is saying something because that's a rarity too). You put this person in a position to hurt you. You set them up like a domino and watch them fall, crushing the tender heart that you stupidly placed outside of your body. Why? Foolishness. It's NOT because you KNOW you will get hurt. Please, please remember that. It's not a masochistic game that is played, No. It's hope. It's playing the lottery. It's naïvety. You know that the probability is high that this person is going to hurt you, but god... the chance that they won't.... That small, minute chance. You hold on to that and make it so much bigger than it should be. So much more valuable than it should be. It's a 25 cent ring given to you from the bubble gum machine that becomes worth so much more than anything money could buy. Then you promise yourself that it will never happen again. Because -- you know. You are semi-intelligent for fucks sake, you know the signs. You know the path, you know the setup, YOU. KNOW. You know that you're just lying to yourself until one day it becomes the truth.
End:
I guess it goes to show that you will always think the grass is greener. Cool stuff is outside of someone's norm. Migraines and constant bitching rose to a level that I found quite unpleasant by 4:30am, and thats just from my coworkers.
Since I just kept my head down and tried to get through the day, I found myself sucked into a whirlpool of 'overthinking'. I need to metaphorically vomit so that I will feel better.
Begin:
There is a horrible flaw that I possess. I possess the ability to set myself up to get hurt like nobody's business. How do I do this, you might ask? Well, I think it stems from trust. Misguided trust because everyone knows that I have monumental trust issues. Just look at my insurmountable walls. Anyway, so, There is this person that you trust. That you like. (which is saying something because that's a rarity too). You put this person in a position to hurt you. You set them up like a domino and watch them fall, crushing the tender heart that you stupidly placed outside of your body. Why? Foolishness. It's NOT because you KNOW you will get hurt. Please, please remember that. It's not a masochistic game that is played, No. It's hope. It's playing the lottery. It's naïvety. You know that the probability is high that this person is going to hurt you, but god... the chance that they won't.... That small, minute chance. You hold on to that and make it so much bigger than it should be. So much more valuable than it should be. It's a 25 cent ring given to you from the bubble gum machine that becomes worth so much more than anything money could buy. Then you promise yourself that it will never happen again. Because -- you know. You are semi-intelligent for fucks sake, you know the signs. You know the path, you know the setup, YOU. KNOW. You know that you're just lying to yourself until one day it becomes the truth.
End: