Write this down
Today is one for the books.
I couldn't pay my house payment when it was due. People not being able to contribute. I got my card stolen and $200 taken... that I didn't have. I got my school calling me about late fees and I'm going back and forth with my retirement and my old job. Bills keep coming and phone keeps ringing.
You know what? It's gonna be okay.
I woke up before sunrise and the guy I'm working with is pissy. They messed up his paycheck. Probably mine too but won't know until tomorrow. He stole his. I get 'talked' to because I documented something that could potentially get someone else in trouble. I was so sick last night. The cramps are getting bad again as is the bleeding. Two weeks now. An hour in the bathroom sweating like I'm doing pushups in the Sahara.
It's gonna be okay.
I got a text that we have no food and the card that got reloaded today has been lost... again. My attempts at positivity and willingness to help short term is met with passive aggressive tantrums. Come home and make dinner but I'm doing it wrong. Load dishwasher and there is no soap, just tears and tension from family. Ironically, I'm not crying.
It's gonna be okay.
The broken glass needs to be cleaned up and the rest of the shards need to be broken. There is another pane after all. Two days of work resulted in open sky. It's funny when you reach out for help or safe haven but get told the very act of asking is 'inappropriate'. I get it. Must have been one of those bridges that I burned accidentally.
I don't recognize this bed that I've made.
But god dammit I will wake up tomorrow and I will show up, like I do every day.
Fake it till you make it, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
I couldn't pay my house payment when it was due. People not being able to contribute. I got my card stolen and $200 taken... that I didn't have. I got my school calling me about late fees and I'm going back and forth with my retirement and my old job. Bills keep coming and phone keeps ringing.
You know what? It's gonna be okay.
I woke up before sunrise and the guy I'm working with is pissy. They messed up his paycheck. Probably mine too but won't know until tomorrow. He stole his. I get 'talked' to because I documented something that could potentially get someone else in trouble. I was so sick last night. The cramps are getting bad again as is the bleeding. Two weeks now. An hour in the bathroom sweating like I'm doing pushups in the Sahara.
It's gonna be okay.
I got a text that we have no food and the card that got reloaded today has been lost... again. My attempts at positivity and willingness to help short term is met with passive aggressive tantrums. Come home and make dinner but I'm doing it wrong. Load dishwasher and there is no soap, just tears and tension from family. Ironically, I'm not crying.
It's gonna be okay.
The broken glass needs to be cleaned up and the rest of the shards need to be broken. There is another pane after all. Two days of work resulted in open sky. It's funny when you reach out for help or safe haven but get told the very act of asking is 'inappropriate'. I get it. Must have been one of those bridges that I burned accidentally.
I don't recognize this bed that I've made.
But god dammit I will wake up tomorrow and I will show up, like I do every day.
Fake it till you make it, baby.
It's gonna be okay.