Interstate Antics and Other Funny Moments
Interstate AnticsJust a brief overview of what I witnessed on the highways, interstates, and roads this weekend. (I took a trip to Pensacola which is 8 hours = A LOT of time spent in the car!!)
• I decided to leave early on Thursday instead of first thing on Friday morning. I leave from work and go pack, I’m so excited. So I get in my car and set off. 20 minutes later a rock flies up and impacts the center of my windshield. *blinks* The whole entire way –nothing- hits me except bugs…but 20 minutes from my house I get hit by a rock??
• Okay, let me set this one up for you. I was crossing this three lane bridge over the OCEAN! There isn’t much traffic out, but there is this monster of a car on my left. It was this huge blue Cadillac or something. Anyway, it was big! I’m just driving along staring at the ocean, because that is what I do when I see it…when out of the corner of my eye I see the car WAY too close than it is supposed to be, totally invading my bubble! So I yelp and swerve into the other lane and speed up really fast. I turn around and the guy driving this car is ASLEEP!!!!! Either that or he has mastered the whole “driving with your eyes closed” thing. He woke up within seconds, but still!! Sheesh.
• Ever since watching “Final Destination 2” I absolutely WILL NOT drive behind a log truck. Who said you never learn anything from movies? However, they didn’t get this memo because I must have seen at least 12 of them and they all wanted to drive in front of me.
• I was somewhere in between Birmingham and Chattanooga when one of those huge trucks that are loaded down with brand new cars merges onto the interstate in front of me. These don’t really worry me as much as the logging trucks because I’ve never actually seen a movie where someone died like that. (Except in Bad Boys II, awesome car chase scene!! But I digress…) Anyway, I’m driving along, admiring this white suv on the top that I will never ever have….when it starts bouncing. I mean, BOUNCING like a low-rider. Then one of the chains around the back wheel (it was relatively short) slides off and starts swinging. OH HECK NO!!! I speed to 90 just to pass this thing.
• Chattanooga….first of all, I HATE driving in the rain, absolutely HATE IT! I notice it’s getting really dark and I think YAY because my sun glasses are making my ears hurt a little bit. Then it starts raining, then it starts pouring, then it starts doing something that there isn’t even a word for. It was SO DARK and the rain was coming down SO HARD and ricocheting off of the road that visibility was ZERO! People were pulling off the road and we were going like 10 m.p.h. Now usually this wouldn’t warrant telling, but if you know me, you know that last year I was in a similar storm in Oklahoma when I hydroplaned and did two complete turns before brushing up against the cement divider on the interstate. It was twenty minutes past the rain with blue skies and sunshine before I could even begin to pry my white knuckled fingers off of the steering wheel just to turn off my windshield wipers.
• OH! And I broke my personal record of two stops. I only stopped once this time to pee and fill up the tank. What’s a little dehydration when you can make it home a whole 10 minutes early??
OTHERNESS
This could just be me, but wouldn’t you agree that someone is a little “weird” coughcoughobsessivecoughcough about shoes when……..they are driving down a road with mucho traffic, reach into the back seat, grab the shoe box, take a shoe out and –admire- it??
• Okay, in all fairness it –could- also be considered weird when that same person shoves a shoe in my face and playfully asks me to ‘kiss it’ and I actually do. I would love to have heard the conversation in the car behind us after that one!
Could have been a scene from a movie:
- Enter very nice kitchen. H and I are at the bar eating lunch. Her aunt is at the table .
“I like your aunt’s fingernail polish!”
“You should tell her.”
*blinks* She only speaks Spanish.
“Um, yeah, but I don’t know how to say fingernail polish in spanish.”
“Oh, it’s easy…..me gusta..blah blah blah” (I’ve forgotten since then hehehe)
“NO WAY! I’m not confident enough and my accent is horrible!!”
“No, no…just tell her!! She –loves- compliments.”
Much more arm pulling was needed, but I eventually said it. BUT THEN her aunt starts talking to me in Spanish. I turn around to H and realize she’s walking out of the room doubled over in laughter.
“HEY!!”
Her aunt is still talking and I sort of just look at her and laugh and nod.
THANKS A LOT!!! YOU’RE A REAL FRIEND!!
Looks can be VERY VERY deceiving, case in point. This picture looks like a very cute kitten right? Oh how wrong you are, I have the scratches to prove it!! *laughs*
• I decided to leave early on Thursday instead of first thing on Friday morning. I leave from work and go pack, I’m so excited. So I get in my car and set off. 20 minutes later a rock flies up and impacts the center of my windshield. *blinks* The whole entire way –nothing- hits me except bugs…but 20 minutes from my house I get hit by a rock??
• Okay, let me set this one up for you. I was crossing this three lane bridge over the OCEAN! There isn’t much traffic out, but there is this monster of a car on my left. It was this huge blue Cadillac or something. Anyway, it was big! I’m just driving along staring at the ocean, because that is what I do when I see it…when out of the corner of my eye I see the car WAY too close than it is supposed to be, totally invading my bubble! So I yelp and swerve into the other lane and speed up really fast. I turn around and the guy driving this car is ASLEEP!!!!! Either that or he has mastered the whole “driving with your eyes closed” thing. He woke up within seconds, but still!! Sheesh.
• Ever since watching “Final Destination 2” I absolutely WILL NOT drive behind a log truck. Who said you never learn anything from movies? However, they didn’t get this memo because I must have seen at least 12 of them and they all wanted to drive in front of me.
• I was somewhere in between Birmingham and Chattanooga when one of those huge trucks that are loaded down with brand new cars merges onto the interstate in front of me. These don’t really worry me as much as the logging trucks because I’ve never actually seen a movie where someone died like that. (Except in Bad Boys II, awesome car chase scene!! But I digress…) Anyway, I’m driving along, admiring this white suv on the top that I will never ever have….when it starts bouncing. I mean, BOUNCING like a low-rider. Then one of the chains around the back wheel (it was relatively short) slides off and starts swinging. OH HECK NO!!! I speed to 90 just to pass this thing.
• Chattanooga….first of all, I HATE driving in the rain, absolutely HATE IT! I notice it’s getting really dark and I think YAY because my sun glasses are making my ears hurt a little bit. Then it starts raining, then it starts pouring, then it starts doing something that there isn’t even a word for. It was SO DARK and the rain was coming down SO HARD and ricocheting off of the road that visibility was ZERO! People were pulling off the road and we were going like 10 m.p.h. Now usually this wouldn’t warrant telling, but if you know me, you know that last year I was in a similar storm in Oklahoma when I hydroplaned and did two complete turns before brushing up against the cement divider on the interstate. It was twenty minutes past the rain with blue skies and sunshine before I could even begin to pry my white knuckled fingers off of the steering wheel just to turn off my windshield wipers.
• OH! And I broke my personal record of two stops. I only stopped once this time to pee and fill up the tank. What’s a little dehydration when you can make it home a whole 10 minutes early??
OTHERNESS
This could just be me, but wouldn’t you agree that someone is a little “weird” coughcoughobsessivecoughcough about shoes when……..they are driving down a road with mucho traffic, reach into the back seat, grab the shoe box, take a shoe out and –admire- it??
• Okay, in all fairness it –could- also be considered weird when that same person shoves a shoe in my face and playfully asks me to ‘kiss it’ and I actually do. I would love to have heard the conversation in the car behind us after that one!
Could have been a scene from a movie:
- Enter very nice kitchen. H and I are at the bar eating lunch. Her aunt is at the table .
“I like your aunt’s fingernail polish!”
“You should tell her.”
*blinks* She only speaks Spanish.
“Um, yeah, but I don’t know how to say fingernail polish in spanish.”
“Oh, it’s easy…..me gusta..blah blah blah” (I’ve forgotten since then hehehe)
“NO WAY! I’m not confident enough and my accent is horrible!!”
“No, no…just tell her!! She –loves- compliments.”
Much more arm pulling was needed, but I eventually said it. BUT THEN her aunt starts talking to me in Spanish. I turn around to H and realize she’s walking out of the room doubled over in laughter.
“HEY!!”
Her aunt is still talking and I sort of just look at her and laugh and nod.
THANKS A LOT!!! YOU’RE A REAL FRIEND!!
Looks can be VERY VERY deceiving, case in point. This picture looks like a very cute kitten right? Oh how wrong you are, I have the scratches to prove it!! *laughs*
*LOL* I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. It was a classic moment, I must say. Besides, she got as much out of your conversation with her as she would have if you'd spoken spanish to begin with! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Seriously, thnaks for immortalizing that moment. It's truly, TRULY a classic!
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