An Open Letter

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I am a lot of things: Neurotic, Afraid, Anxiety ridden, closed off, distant, Sarcastic, Selfish, etc. I can be a lot to deal with. Night time is ALWAYS ALWAYS my worst time of the day. I wish I could take a pill with my dinner and then just pass out and wake up the next day.


Your shadow will never darken my doorway.
No matter how bad things get.
You will never make sure I'm okay after an argument.
You will never show up just to crawl into bed with me.
Even if you have nothing else to do.
You gave up on me over and over.
But so did I. On myself and you.
But I was never really there for you ever, right?
You say no and I don't listen.

I'm sorry for pushing you.
I'm sorry for being too much of me.
I think you had a lot of things wrong.
I think I didn't listen.

I think I will always think the best of you.
I think I will hate you in the darkness for not wanting the worst of me.

You give me time yet you KNOW that's the worst for me
I think you like it.

No, no, no..... no.  NO. no. Silence. You got it.



So here is to making friends with what lives in the dark. 

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