Deyhdrated
It was a good day today. Despite my sometimes, melancholy writing, I do realize how blessed I am. I know that I have it good. I just also accept the fact that I sometimes live in my head. I sometimes let the worst thoughts guide my actions. My imagination hops in the driver seat and goes for a spin. I know that it's not always a good thing. Sometimes it is. But it's also very much who I am. I'm not always proud of my decisions or actions, or even thoughts. I am, however, very proud of me. I like who I am very much! I can look anyone in the eyes and tell them that I am a good person and honestly believe it. I know it to the core of my being. That I am thoughtful, HILARIOUS, smart, and I would almost always do the right thing, to a fault sometimes, ha!
My boys eating lunch last week. So much love.
There is this thing that I do at work when I want to "escape" the thoughts, the people around me, the job, etc. I put my headphones in and I pick one or two lyrics from each song that I hear (my playlist is always on random) and then I put all of those lyrics into a semi-poem just to see what kind of sense they make. I think it's pretty neat because, depending on whatever wavelength my brain is on kind of dictates what lyric stands out. I could pick two very different parts of the same song on different days. Anyway, here's a little taste of what I mean ->
You love the way I look at you. Let me be your armor.
You like to think you're never wrong.
How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry for the things that I've done?
Taste my sweetness on your lips.
Maybe tonight we can forget about love and bleed for the fantasy.
What makes you turn around and do it all again?
Are you waiting for the ocean to open up and swallow you?
If you follow you will see what love is. Close your eyes.
You're hiding inside a perfect lie.
It makes no sense because there's no sense in it at all.
I don't want mudslinging games. I've got no claim on you now.
It's too late to fight. Just wrap me up in chains.
Do you remember the promises whispered like rain?
I don't need them, useless like the wings you traded in.
When your pride is on the floor, I'll make you beg for more.
Watching the blood pulse in my veins.
Is there a road I could follow to bring you back home?
I didn't notice it right away. I will not be shaken!
Photograph my mind and anything else you'd like to shoot.
Slurring all my words until something sticks.
Blurring all your words until they don't make sense.
Help, I'm alive.
Remember when I was so strange and likable?
Oh, what a beautiful life.
I've got thick skin and an elastic heart.