Jumbled words

I thought about not writing for a while, until I can get through this. I thought I should keep it all private, I have to do it by myself after all. No one can help me through this. But I find that writing helps so much and this is mine. I'm going to try a new tactic. Everything else is changing and it's always a nice thing to try new things. Reinvent old ways and make discoveries.
I can't always be happy and positive. There is no quick fix to this. I may have dipped my toes in last year, as a dear friend says, but I need to fully immerse myself in the shit in order to get better.  I have to feel and stop trying to fix. However, I don't want this to be incredibly morose and full of suicidal tendencies and pity parties. Wallowing isn't going to help either.
So? What do all of those words mean? What's the point? Well, this is going to be a pin board of things that move me with a brief paragraph of automatic writing/poetry/prose etc. dedicated to what's going on. Less words. I use too many.

Lydia Davis

Head, Heart

Heart weeps.

Head tries to help heart.

Head tells heart how it is, again:

You will lose the ones you love. They will all go. But even the earth

will go, someday.

Heart feels better, then.

But the words of the head do not remain long in the ears of the heart.

Heart is so new to this.

I want them back, says heart.

Head is all heart has.

Help head. Help heart.

Happy first day of Spring. Taken by me.