I had a down
Sleep doesn't come easy these days. It's almost as if I'm fighting it. Which is stupid because when I'm asleep I'm set free from my mind. Why fight that? Why resist escaping?
I haven't had a breakdown since that night. I did lose someone whom I thought was a friend. Kind of a double blow, especially on the night of the service. I'm sure there is a silver lining there though. I already know what it is, I just don't want to give voice to it, or it will be real.
I suck at letting go of people.
This next chapter is already seemingly daunting. A pile of paperwork a half-inch thick was plopped in front of us. We get to pay $400 for someone to read it and make a decision. It's all so silly to me.
First night of work. I got lost in walking and the water. If anyone were to ask me what I was thinking about I couldn't have told them. Nothing? Everything? Every little mean word I said, how she'd crawl into my bed when she was little... every.... single... night? How she tried to teach me pokemon but I couldn't be bothered.
I'm trying to be strong though. Mostly for my mom.
I won't forget the kindness of someone I thought gave up on me.
We are going to have to tell them. I've been practicing, isn't that absurd?
I haven't had a breakdown since that night. I did lose someone whom I thought was a friend. Kind of a double blow, especially on the night of the service. I'm sure there is a silver lining there though. I already know what it is, I just don't want to give voice to it, or it will be real.
I suck at letting go of people.
This next chapter is already seemingly daunting. A pile of paperwork a half-inch thick was plopped in front of us. We get to pay $400 for someone to read it and make a decision. It's all so silly to me.
First night of work. I got lost in walking and the water. If anyone were to ask me what I was thinking about I couldn't have told them. Nothing? Everything? Every little mean word I said, how she'd crawl into my bed when she was little... every.... single... night? How she tried to teach me pokemon but I couldn't be bothered.
I'm trying to be strong though. Mostly for my mom.
I won't forget the kindness of someone I thought gave up on me.
We are going to have to tell them. I've been practicing, isn't that absurd?
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