You win some ...

-
... you lose some.
It's like finally being able to verbalize some of the feelings inside and allowing a bit of vulnerability to peek out only to have it punched in the nose.
Did I steal this? Did I do this?
A blinking cursor
Black phone screen
Deleted numbers
Stupid choices
Expectations
Headphones
Bruises
Kissed knees
This Darkness though
I feel like a stoic observer watching it consume
Maybe it's just how compartmentalizing feels
Then what is the anger when I see a picture?
Who am I even angry at?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lost Girl

-
Lost girl protects what is precious to her Can you say the same for yourself sir Hidden pockets of misery and divine Islands of hope if only they could shine Lost girl pushes away heartfelt love Not deserved, bloodied and shoved Unexplainable expectations she's given A heart not beating, held broken, riven Lost girl bites back urges to cry A scream past parted lips, only a sigh Shaking inside, flying apart, unraveling Logic and reason, following, traveling Lost girl can't tread water any longer Deep breath, under, float, stronger Leave behind all that exists here Keep it safe, hidden from fear Lost girl wants to turn back, embrace Behind closed eyes, only her face Accept what's been said and done Move forwards, towards the rising sun
Read more

Losing Money

-
That's what my bosses are doing today. They make us work on Memorial Day and then question why we aren't busy. But hey, why should I care? I'm getting paid to sit here and read. It's just that sometimes I can't help feeling I'm stuck in a Saturday detention. Doesn't help that half of the employees called in 'sick' today. Maybe I'm just jealous and bitter. I did have a wonderful weekend though! We went to the lake on Saturday and couldn't have asked for better weather. Had a BBQ, soaked up some sun, went home and slept. I watched Trainspotting while I unpacked some more boxes. It was disturbing to say the least and the baby, TRAUMATIZING. Johnny Lee Miller is absolutely adorable though. On Sunday we went to the theater and saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End . I was a little 'iffy' about it because I had read it was over 2 1/2 hours long. The second one wasn't very good in my opinion, but I decided to give this one a ...
Read more

New Blog

-
So this is INCREDIBLY rambly...just had to get some things out! Life is.... interesting I feel..... everything One moment I feel very adult-like. I have responsibilities, a career (even if it's one I don't like). I have bills to pay and I'm budgeting my money. I make wise choices and investments. I help people with their problems and I am a shoulder to cry on. I fix things and I'm in complete control. I know how the world works and I feel comfortable with that. In between this breath and the next I'm on my ass. Things aren't like that at all. Am I just fooling myself? Is it a coping mechanism for us because we are so programed to think that way? Do we really believe we have to be in control of everything? The world is constantly changing, like the ocean. We are constantly changing. I have a childlike desire to see and experience everything. Good or bad, it doesn't matter. I want to feel pain, extreme pain along with happiness and complete joy, e...
Read more