Blocked
So then you get blocked...
I guess if you were looking for a sign, getting blocked would be one of them.
I really have no words. I don't think I can process it. I think that anything I will say will be looked at as narcissistic or martyr/victim or placing blame, which is another concept I just have no concept of. Blame. Fault. Why is it so important? Two people let a car fall off of a cliff. Does it matter who's fault it is? Will that have any bearing on these people getting home, or getting a new car, or waking up tomorrow?
I think my biggest... fault is that when an argument happens... I want to retrace the steps on the map that got us there. I think that can be viewed as placing blame but that's never my intention. I want to know what happened, what step was taken to get us here. As two people.
Fault? You cannot sit there and say this is my fault it turned out this way. Did I hold a gun to your head and make you choose silence? No. My actions, my anxiety, my feelings may have pushed you away when all I wanted was to hold you closer. But I do not control your actions. There is no fault in this. There are just choices that were made that ended us up here.
No fault. No blame. It doesn't matter. Only the steps.
You said never go to bed angry.
I said that once too. It's a romantic idea.
But that's all it will ever be.... an idea.
Air conditioning unit is shot. $7000.00 bullet. Rim is ripped and still bleeding. Missed school again. Insurance issues. Am I who I say I am? Are you sure you don't make more money than I do? Laxatives.
So this. I chose this.
I guess if you were looking for a sign, getting blocked would be one of them.
I really have no words. I don't think I can process it. I think that anything I will say will be looked at as narcissistic or martyr/victim or placing blame, which is another concept I just have no concept of. Blame. Fault. Why is it so important? Two people let a car fall off of a cliff. Does it matter who's fault it is? Will that have any bearing on these people getting home, or getting a new car, or waking up tomorrow?
I think my biggest... fault is that when an argument happens... I want to retrace the steps on the map that got us there. I think that can be viewed as placing blame but that's never my intention. I want to know what happened, what step was taken to get us here. As two people.
Fault? You cannot sit there and say this is my fault it turned out this way. Did I hold a gun to your head and make you choose silence? No. My actions, my anxiety, my feelings may have pushed you away when all I wanted was to hold you closer. But I do not control your actions. There is no fault in this. There are just choices that were made that ended us up here.
No fault. No blame. It doesn't matter. Only the steps.
You said never go to bed angry.
I said that once too. It's a romantic idea.
But that's all it will ever be.... an idea.
Air conditioning unit is shot. $7000.00 bullet. Rim is ripped and still bleeding. Missed school again. Insurance issues. Am I who I say I am? Are you sure you don't make more money than I do? Laxatives.
So this. I chose this.
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