I've been blinded a little I think.
I've been so concerned with trying to center myself. I see color, and I strive for happiness.
But I didn't take into consideration what this might look like. I ran into this problem a lot with my mom growing up. We would get into heated arguments about things and I would spout out "You can't be this upset about something so trivial" or..."I can't believe you have so much anger about this." Whatever 'this' may be. My mom would look at me with tears in her eyes and just shake her head. "Don't you care? What does it matter how small -YOU- think it is? Can't you just see for a moment how it affects -ME-?"
I am selfish. Sometimes the big picture doesn't matter. What does matter is how someone feels about something. I realize that me being happy and seemingly 'okay' is maybe a slap in the face. Maybe it makes it look like I don't care or never did.
But that's not true. I just simply deal with things differently than most. I just need to learn to understand that....sometimes it doesn't matter with how -I- deal with things.
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