Supposed Rain

It was supposed to rain today, but it didn't and that disappoints me. I think a great, rockin', thunderstorm is needed desperately. The air needs cleaning, it's getting too heavy and acrid. 

My dad wrote again. He mentioned getting a father's day card from his sons for the first time ever and how happy he was about that. Suspicious. I feel no need whatsoever to acknowledge him being a father to me. I want to meet him and I want to look into his eyes. I want to see the person that helped make me. But as far as feeling any sort of bond or kinship, nada. That's not to say it isn't possible. I feel strongly that you can have a connection with someone without ever meeting them...but there is always the possibility that it's your imagination filling in huge gaps of what this person is really like. The Internet really allows people to be whoever they want. Even phone conversations allow your imagination to go wild. You could be imagining the person on the other line is lying in bed, their feet on the wall, twirling a pen around when in reality they are taking a crap on the toilet. This has nothing to do with their personality, I'm just trying to make a point of how your mind can create a lot of things. 

T-Bird is town. I can't wait to see how big the boys are. It's so hard to believe sometimes. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were going to the gym and I was holding Kyle on my hip, helping get him out of the car seat. How time flies. 

It seems that my restlessness is contagious. I suppose when someone around you expresses frustration and a desire to do something more, it forces you to examine your own situation. I think it's a good thing though. Ruts are bad and allows for no personal growth. 

I can't stop thinking about this trilogy of books written by Mercedes Lackey: Arrows of the Queen. The themes and characters are so incredibly relatable, especially Talia. I've also been thinking a lot of the concept of lifebonds. 

I try to stay out of my head though. It sucks hours out of the day. I've been writing a lot. Drawing a lot. I have so many ideas of things I want to draw, it's just getting the stupid commissions out of the way. I've also thought of checking into tattooing and piercing. Why not right? Why not try everything. I did in college. I changed my major over 15 times, why can't you do that with jobs? 

I read a story about a man that started a blog and ended up just traveling around the country working at different places for a week. Companies would actually contact him. I guess it's along the line of that show 30 days. A killer concept though. 

Anyway, back to drawing.