Another Hard Day

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I want to stop thinking and feeling. Unless it is school related or concerning my nephews, I am pressing the pause button. A moratorium. 
A really good friend of mine at work (who is male, which is significant) has stopped talking to me. Even going as far as switching positions with other people just to avoid being around me. I don't feel that it is justified and I am incredibly sad and bothered. I'm trying to be an adult about it and let him do his thing. Hopefully he comes around ... That's what adults do, right? Wait? 
I think it's one of the most vile weapons of human kind, aside from the obvious murder/abuse/etc. I'm talking about close friendships/relationships. When you go silent, that's incredibly cruel. But maybe I'm wrong. I just know how I feel. Not anyone else. 


Havoc
Alanis Morissette

I thought i had handles on this
I could soften my guard behind false confidence
Just when I found humble pie insipid 
Exempt from this blind side and firmly in its grip
Cause I'm secuded by reaction and under the influence

CHORUS
I'm slipping again
I'm up to old tricks
Off my wagon
I have no defense
I'm wreaking havoc.
Wreaking havoc and consequence

I get reduced by my own willfulness 
As I reach for my usual God-replacements
'Cause I am rich with sanction
I'm lax in my steps

CHORUS

BRIDGE
If forgiveness is understanding than I
Affirm Mia Culpa for the millionth time
From this toppling house of cards of mine

I am beaten by my impulsiveness
By this uncanny foreshadowing of regret
'Cause I'm repulsed by restriction
At least that's my excuse

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